Well, today Mammy, aka Miss Jeanne (John's Mom), wanted a boys day with all her grandboys so off we went to Mammy's. Linley had our own girl's day today which I must say was quite productive and quIEt.
Cleaning was involved. Lots of toys picked up. But despite that fact I still almost broke my neck while holding Linley, as we were walking through the living room and trying to avoid her play gym. Seriously, I think I could have won a million dollars if anyone had been there to witness it. I busted out laughing and Linley looked at me like I had lost my mind.
Now all you moms out there can relate to this. Why is it that the moment you go to lay down and rest for a few after you have everything finished and the baby is napping that they cut it short? I mean really? There's nothing worse than almost getting to nap but being awakened out of stupor to a baby ready to get up.
Mammy brings the boys home. She has a package for me, Caleb's dirty underwear. I didn't ask. Didn't want to know. Just knowing that it's waiting for me to wash them is enough.
Tonight at church was just comical. I take Caleb into his classroom and he starts crying for Daddy. So I take him to John thinking he can get him in the room, as I walk out I notice John trying to get Ethan to calm down because he doesn't want to stay with the big kids. Really? I mean, we go to this church Sunday morning, evening, and Wednesday evening not to metion Bible studies and then VBS. Oh well, at least they love their parents.
On the way home from church we are going to Wal-Mart. We are stopped at a stoplight and John and I are discussing some of the topics I heard about in Bible Study (since he ended up staying with both boys in their class). We are stopped and I look over and see a car FULL of girls, adults and teenagers, laughing at us. I just smile, thinking "What has Caleb done now?" I turn around to look and it's not Caleb but Ethan. He has a t-shirt on his head like a hat really showing out for those girls. Oh my. And to think he was once upon a time my bashful child.
We get home and Ethan now thinks it's just hilarious to "spank" me. Not so. Caleb then decides he doesn't want me to bathe him but rather Dad. Hey that's fine. But then he decides to call me "Doody". WHAT????!!! Now, I did mention that it is not respectful to call your mommy that...BUT I had to have a comeback. I mean seriously, THIS kid calling ME doody. Oh no. So as any adult would do I responded with, "Well, if I'm Doody then you are my Poopy." Got the last word on that one.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Memorial Day
Linley doesn't get the memo that we sleep past 6 on holidays, and every day for that matter. Our day began at 6 this morning with a very happy little girl squealing in her bed. As I'm laying there debating how long this can go on John mentions, "She's going to wake both boys up." I jumped out of the bed like a lightening bolt. She was so happy to see me and I was so happy to be able to just breathe before the house got moving this morning. Boy number one is up at 6:30 and then boy number two actually slept til 7:30. Wow. But, no wonder by the time I had some quiet time at 9 o'clock I already felt like it was nap time. Whew. It's Memorial Day so we make American flags using glitter and construction paper. By the way, thank you to all the men and women who serve. Your sacrifices are appreciated. I'm surprised but the glitter didn't end up dumped in the floor.
Since Caleb has turned three we are trying that trick of peer pressure, you know, ALL three year olds poop in the potty. It's just what they do.I didn't mention the fact to him that his brother pooped in his underwear until 3 years 9 months when he decided on his own that he was ready to poop in the potty. "Mom, I'm done pooping in my underwear now. I'll poop in the potty," was Ethan's declaration on a Monday morning. Glad you decided on that Son. Anyway, Caleb is not buying it. He told me when he gets as big as Ethan is when he will poop in the potty. You know what, that really doesn't work for me. So, to go for this what happens but of course Caleb is walking around the house with no pants on.
"Where is it?"
"In the bathroom."
"Did you touch it."
"No, I didn't."
So apparently he pooped in the bathroom in FRONT of the toilet. He's killing me. My question was, "If you pooped in the bathroom why didn't you just poop on the potty?" Oh no. That's not how we roll.
Speaking of rolling, walking through the house and what do I find but green crepe paper strolled from the kitchen, through the hall, down to Linley's room. Naturally I just go to pick it up and throw it away. NO!!! My decorations!!!! Really?
Finally, I can't take the house anymore and we have to go outside despite the fact that it's like 100 degrees outside. So we put on swimming suits and it's time for some fun in the sun. But wait, all Caleb's swimming trunks have been pooped in so naturally what does he do? Yes, if you drove by our house this afternoon you would have seen my children dumping Dawn on the slip-n-slide and a three year old running buck coasting down it. I've got to run inside and make some bread so John stays outside with the kiddos. (Yes, for some reason I went all home-makery today and made San Francisco Sourdough bread and WOWZAH!!!) Anyway, I come back outside and what do I see but a naked three year old peeing in the pool and Ethan completely flipping. "MOM!!!! Caleb's peeing in the pool!!!" Great, so goes the discussion that we don't pee in pools. It's time to wash off and they decide to wash each other off with the hose. Note to self: My five year old can run fast, even with a water-hose in hand. His favorite part of the afternoon, chasing me with the hose and getting me wet.
A scrumptious meal and now my rule: you MUST GO OUTSIDE. Of course, they don't want to but a Mom must have her peace for a few minutes. John has been working all day outside and has ended up with the cows so naturally we all go with him. Now we are in the field and what is in the field, but of course, cow poop. Being a five-year old, Ethan naturally doesn't see the massive, wet-cow pie in front of him and he steps in the thing. He's wearing crocs. REALLY? Not only do I deal with my children's poop, but now cow-poop. He ends up getting it on his leg and really does try to wipe it off on me. Oh no. I will do alot of things for my kids, but I refuse to let them wipe cow-poop on me. He's a problem solver so he finds something else.
Bathtime, one right after the other. 1. Linley 2. Ethan (washing cow poop and dust off) 3. Caleb-who thinks it's delicious water. Caleb-does that water have a certain twang to it?
Good night!
Since Caleb has turned three we are trying that trick of peer pressure, you know, ALL three year olds poop in the potty. It's just what they do.I didn't mention the fact to him that his brother pooped in his underwear until 3 years 9 months when he decided on his own that he was ready to poop in the potty. "Mom, I'm done pooping in my underwear now. I'll poop in the potty," was Ethan's declaration on a Monday morning. Glad you decided on that Son. Anyway, Caleb is not buying it. He told me when he gets as big as Ethan is when he will poop in the potty. You know what, that really doesn't work for me. So, to go for this what happens but of course Caleb is walking around the house with no pants on.
"Where is it?"
"In the bathroom."
"Did you touch it."
"No, I didn't."
So apparently he pooped in the bathroom in FRONT of the toilet. He's killing me. My question was, "If you pooped in the bathroom why didn't you just poop on the potty?" Oh no. That's not how we roll.
Speaking of rolling, walking through the house and what do I find but green crepe paper strolled from the kitchen, through the hall, down to Linley's room. Naturally I just go to pick it up and throw it away. NO!!! My decorations!!!! Really?
Finally, I can't take the house anymore and we have to go outside despite the fact that it's like 100 degrees outside. So we put on swimming suits and it's time for some fun in the sun. But wait, all Caleb's swimming trunks have been pooped in so naturally what does he do? Yes, if you drove by our house this afternoon you would have seen my children dumping Dawn on the slip-n-slide and a three year old running buck coasting down it. I've got to run inside and make some bread so John stays outside with the kiddos. (Yes, for some reason I went all home-makery today and made San Francisco Sourdough bread and WOWZAH!!!) Anyway, I come back outside and what do I see but a naked three year old peeing in the pool and Ethan completely flipping. "MOM!!!! Caleb's peeing in the pool!!!" Great, so goes the discussion that we don't pee in pools. It's time to wash off and they decide to wash each other off with the hose. Note to self: My five year old can run fast, even with a water-hose in hand. His favorite part of the afternoon, chasing me with the hose and getting me wet.
A scrumptious meal and now my rule: you MUST GO OUTSIDE. Of course, they don't want to but a Mom must have her peace for a few minutes. John has been working all day outside and has ended up with the cows so naturally we all go with him. Now we are in the field and what is in the field, but of course, cow poop. Being a five-year old, Ethan naturally doesn't see the massive, wet-cow pie in front of him and he steps in the thing. He's wearing crocs. REALLY? Not only do I deal with my children's poop, but now cow-poop. He ends up getting it on his leg and really does try to wipe it off on me. Oh no. I will do alot of things for my kids, but I refuse to let them wipe cow-poop on me. He's a problem solver so he finds something else.
Bathtime, one right after the other. 1. Linley 2. Ethan (washing cow poop and dust off) 3. Caleb-who thinks it's delicious water. Caleb-does that water have a certain twang to it?
Good night!
Happy 3rd Birthday Caleb!!
May 27th, 2009, the day Caleb was born. Ever since it has been a wild ride :) I love you little man and the man you are going to be. You are at the point in your life that everything you do I usually blog about just because it is so memorable. The poop stories, mischieviousness (hello, did I spell that right, it's too early to think about), and altercations with your brother are just part of what makes you you. You absolutely LOVE the dirt, and I mean that. I've never seen a child enjoy something more. If there is a dirt pile you will find it. You love all things manly: diggers, dirt, tractors, race cars, trains. YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR DADDY.
Prayer time at the party!
I believe there is no one else on earth you should emulate more. You like to make us laugh, but you also have the bashful side, yes bashful sometimes. You have a mean swing on the tball set. You are trying to be left-handed which scares me to death because I've never taught a lefty how to write. You love painting, coloring, your big brother, and the outside. Somedays you eat a ton and then somedays I wonder how you have the energy to do anything. You love fruit and LOVE to help me cook :) You are my independent boy. You throw a MEAN temper tantrum. And I mean that. You are so animated it cracks me up. I have been known to forget you were two this past year because you were mature and independent for two, but the tantrums reminded me. You love cats, scared to death of the cows, like insects. You are trying to figure out who's the boss in the family. Your favorite thing to talk about is poop and anything gross like that. Turning 3 is a hard age, you have just been waking up early instead of the middle of the night which I am so thankful. You love sharing a room with Ethan, jumping on the bed, and making a complete mess. Shoes are a serious challenge with you, I have chosen which battles to fight and which ones not to, shoes are not what I choose to lay down the iron fist on. I'm your Sunday School teacher. I love teaching you about Jesus and the Bible. Pretty sure your love language is physical touch, thus why spankings aren't the best option for you. You love jumping and climbing all over me and Dad. You are very thoughtful, you just told your sister "bless you" and you always say please and thank you.
Your birthday (yesterday) for breakfast you wanted a popsicle, so of course you had that before anything. Then we made you a "3" on your pancake with M&M's, you ate all the M&M's left the pancake. You are so my son. Snappy's, of course, was your meal of choice for the day so we piled you, your brother, Katie, and Annalee in the back room to keep the natives calm and enclosed. We spent the day with family and you had a blast. I'll leave out the poop stories for today since it was your birthday. (Don't worry though Caleb, your brother was just as challenging even more so, I just didn't have a blog to write about it-ask Pops about Disney World with Ethan). Your birthday party, was of course, outside in the sprinklers and pools. You ended up in the dirt :) Your favorite part of the cake is the icing-Angry Birds cake :P You hit the pinata with serious gusto and an "angry face" to match the pig.
Once it was time for presents it took about 3 minutes. You went through them "lickedy split" and I'm entirely sure of who got you what. You have even shared some with Ethan, wow, I'm impressed I must say.
I love you Caleb. You have been an instrument to teach me to glean from God how to discipline and train you just because each child is different. You are going to be one amazing man of God one day. You will make one woman incredibly blessed to have you for a husband. I love you my Buddy Bear. Happy 3rd Birthday!! God has blessed us with you and we are so thankful!!
I believe there is no one else on earth you should emulate more. You like to make us laugh, but you also have the bashful side, yes bashful sometimes. You have a mean swing on the tball set. You are trying to be left-handed which scares me to death because I've never taught a lefty how to write. You love painting, coloring, your big brother, and the outside. Somedays you eat a ton and then somedays I wonder how you have the energy to do anything. You love fruit and LOVE to help me cook :) You are my independent boy. You throw a MEAN temper tantrum. And I mean that. You are so animated it cracks me up. I have been known to forget you were two this past year because you were mature and independent for two, but the tantrums reminded me. You love cats, scared to death of the cows, like insects. You are trying to figure out who's the boss in the family. Your favorite thing to talk about is poop and anything gross like that. Turning 3 is a hard age, you have just been waking up early instead of the middle of the night which I am so thankful. You love sharing a room with Ethan, jumping on the bed, and making a complete mess. Shoes are a serious challenge with you, I have chosen which battles to fight and which ones not to, shoes are not what I choose to lay down the iron fist on. I'm your Sunday School teacher. I love teaching you about Jesus and the Bible. Pretty sure your love language is physical touch, thus why spankings aren't the best option for you. You love jumping and climbing all over me and Dad. You are very thoughtful, you just told your sister "bless you" and you always say please and thank you.
Your birthday (yesterday) for breakfast you wanted a popsicle, so of course you had that before anything. Then we made you a "3" on your pancake with M&M's, you ate all the M&M's left the pancake. You are so my son. Snappy's, of course, was your meal of choice for the day so we piled you, your brother, Katie, and Annalee in the back room to keep the natives calm and enclosed. We spent the day with family and you had a blast. I'll leave out the poop stories for today since it was your birthday. (Don't worry though Caleb, your brother was just as challenging even more so, I just didn't have a blog to write about it-ask Pops about Disney World with Ethan). Your birthday party, was of course, outside in the sprinklers and pools. You ended up in the dirt :) Your favorite part of the cake is the icing-Angry Birds cake :P You hit the pinata with serious gusto and an "angry face" to match the pig.
Friday, May 25, 2012
I love it
What a day. I have to say, I love it.
Normal morning and actually productive, worked out, children fed, Bible study done (kids AND mine), preschool accomplished, poop waiting for me on the back porch (not from a dog or cat but my child of course), and then Linley is eating. Ethan has a question: Mom, will I be buried when I die? Then we discuss what a soul and heart is and how you get to Heaven. Then, it happens. This sweet boy stops playing immediately, and starts praying to Jesus to forgive him of his sins, thanking Him for dying on the cross and being in Heaven, and then asks Jesus into his heart. Then he tells me, "Mom I feel Jesus coming in my heart." I think probably the sweetest thing everto hear my son praying to Jesus. Does he fully understand? Only God knows that. But, the steps on his spiritual journey are absolutely amazing.
Lunch is being requested and what are their requests:
Ethan: pickle sandwich with celery and carrots and ranch.
Caleb: apple
So much for the grilled cheese I made, it ended up in the scrap bucket.
Mammy is coming over in a little while :) The boys are pumped. She is delivering Caleb's birthday cake for tomorrow. Oh wait, she's here. And what does she have but the cake! We have to see it while we are sitting outside.
Caleb: I want it now.
Me: No buddy, we have to wait til tomorrow.
Caleb: I want it now.
Mammy: We have to wait til your party tomorrow.
Beginning to close the cake box and all of a sudden it happens. Caleb, finger swipes the black angry bird on the cake and eats it. YUMMMMMM. Is all I hear. Can I get upset? No, it's Caleb. It's his birthday cake. This is normal. At one point today I expected to find him sitting on top of the cabinet enjoying his cake, but PTL he didn't.
I get to go to Wal-Mart, BY MYSELF!!! to get the food for tomorrow and get the balloons filled. Since it is an Angry Bird theme we ordered a special angry bird helium balloon. Get it filled and bring it home to get us in the party mood for tomorrow. What happens? Of course they, being Ethan and Caleb, are playing with it letting it float in the hallway then grabbing it. So, Ethan thinks, "Hmm, let's see what the fan will do to it." Then not 15 minutes after having the balloon filled with helium, it is now deflating in our hallway with an irrepairable cut all the way through one side. Oh well, good thought anyway.
Then, John gets home, dinner with his parents, and no I didn't set the grill on fire (Oh yeah, didn't have time to blog about that yesterday. But let's just say I thought Ethan was going to practice his Stop, Drop, and Roll in the living room due to all the smoke on the porch and then pouring into the house). It's time to mow. Both boys decide to help and I get a few minutes by myself since Linley has helped me sweep and back in bed. John gets finished mowing and what does he find in the garage? 3 dead kittens that must have been underneath mower. Yeah, didn't see that one coming. Of course, the boys have to go see and they are having this huge debate about the dead kittens.
And now, my husband walks back into the house with his shotgun. We had three visitors: two dogs and a skunk. So off John goes to get him, skunk I mean. That mission failed but he did get to shoot the chicken snake. I don't do snakes. Or skunks. But really not snakes.
So today has been an eventful day full of our spiritual journeys, birthday bashing, and animal adventures. It's time for bed.
Normal morning and actually productive, worked out, children fed, Bible study done (kids AND mine), preschool accomplished, poop waiting for me on the back porch (not from a dog or cat but my child of course), and then Linley is eating. Ethan has a question: Mom, will I be buried when I die? Then we discuss what a soul and heart is and how you get to Heaven. Then, it happens. This sweet boy stops playing immediately, and starts praying to Jesus to forgive him of his sins, thanking Him for dying on the cross and being in Heaven, and then asks Jesus into his heart. Then he tells me, "Mom I feel Jesus coming in my heart." I think probably the sweetest thing everto hear my son praying to Jesus. Does he fully understand? Only God knows that. But, the steps on his spiritual journey are absolutely amazing.
Lunch is being requested and what are their requests:
Ethan: pickle sandwich with celery and carrots and ranch.
Caleb: apple
So much for the grilled cheese I made, it ended up in the scrap bucket.
Mammy is coming over in a little while :) The boys are pumped. She is delivering Caleb's birthday cake for tomorrow. Oh wait, she's here. And what does she have but the cake! We have to see it while we are sitting outside.
Caleb: I want it now.
Me: No buddy, we have to wait til tomorrow.
Caleb: I want it now.
Mammy: We have to wait til your party tomorrow.
Beginning to close the cake box and all of a sudden it happens. Caleb, finger swipes the black angry bird on the cake and eats it. YUMMMMMM. Is all I hear. Can I get upset? No, it's Caleb. It's his birthday cake. This is normal. At one point today I expected to find him sitting on top of the cabinet enjoying his cake, but PTL he didn't.
I get to go to Wal-Mart, BY MYSELF!!! to get the food for tomorrow and get the balloons filled. Since it is an Angry Bird theme we ordered a special angry bird helium balloon. Get it filled and bring it home to get us in the party mood for tomorrow. What happens? Of course they, being Ethan and Caleb, are playing with it letting it float in the hallway then grabbing it. So, Ethan thinks, "Hmm, let's see what the fan will do to it." Then not 15 minutes after having the balloon filled with helium, it is now deflating in our hallway with an irrepairable cut all the way through one side. Oh well, good thought anyway.
Then, John gets home, dinner with his parents, and no I didn't set the grill on fire (Oh yeah, didn't have time to blog about that yesterday. But let's just say I thought Ethan was going to practice his Stop, Drop, and Roll in the living room due to all the smoke on the porch and then pouring into the house). It's time to mow. Both boys decide to help and I get a few minutes by myself since Linley has helped me sweep and back in bed. John gets finished mowing and what does he find in the garage? 3 dead kittens that must have been underneath mower. Yeah, didn't see that one coming. Of course, the boys have to go see and they are having this huge debate about the dead kittens.
And now, my husband walks back into the house with his shotgun. We had three visitors: two dogs and a skunk. So off John goes to get him, skunk I mean. That mission failed but he did get to shoot the chicken snake. I don't do snakes. Or skunks. But really not snakes.
So today has been an eventful day full of our spiritual journeys, birthday bashing, and animal adventures. It's time for bed.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Mom of the Year and dog days
Let me begin with the fact that we don't own a dog. Our kids are terrified of dogs. But today, I was compared to a dog. New one for this Mom.
Our nights have been somewhat busy. Not just our 6 P.M.-9 P.M. but our say, 1 A.M. to 5 A.M. Linley now sleeps on her belly and loses the paci. I must find it for her, about 4 times last night. Finally, we succumbed and John, blessed husband and dad that he is, fed her at 4 A.M. No, I didn't run this morning despite the fact the alarm sounded, and apparently I told him numerous times to let me "snooze".
The day begins at 7:30, Linley crying ready for morning bottle and Caleb wakes up wanting his morning warm milk. Note: he goes to sleep with his warm milk as well. So, to keep from waking Ethan I tell him to grab his sippy cup and off we go. In my not-yet-awake mood, I rinse out Caleb's cup, put in the milk, warm, and now happy Caleb. Time to feed Linley. Halfway through the bottle Caleb informs me his sippy cup is "Stuck." He can't get his milk out. Hmm, that's odd. Linley finishes her bottle, time for cereal then all of a sudden it happens... Caleb starts throwing up. Oh no. Enough said. He then proceeds to tell me he's "Choking on milk." Bless him. 5 piles later of soured milk I finally grab his sippy cup and open it. That's when I see it. Dum, dum, dummmmmm- last night's soured milk 1/2 inch deep stuck to the bottom of the cup. No wonder the kid was tossing his cookies, he drank the curdled milk and then had to get it out of him. After that, he asked for more milk and wanted pizza and cheese sticks for breakfast. What did he eat for breakfast? Pizza and cheesestick and warm milk.
Somehow the child ends up with no clothes on throughout the morning even though I have yet to find that poop.
Today is my grandmother's 91st birthday. Big discussion of how old that is. Ethan wants to know that once she turns 100 does she die. My prayer is that he not bring THAT up at the birthday party. Oh, did I mention Caleb had to poop in his underwear at Thelma's? Get him cleaned up and changed and now his bottom is hurting. Do I have any baby powder on me? Of course not. But Thelma, being 91 years old, has some kind of "Parfume powder" that only ladies of that generation keep. Now Caleb smells like a girl, but hey, it beats poop smell and no longer complaining about a hurt bottom.
Linley had a rough afternoon and morning so she and I stayed home from church tonight trying to keep her happy. She actually had a LONG nap. PTL. Isn't it amazing how cleaning can make a mom feel like she can take on the world? I mean, I didn't know how much rice and cheese an almost 3 year old and 5 year can drop under a table, but man. And to mention the fact that when your husband starts mentioning that his feet are sticking to the floor underneath the kitchen table, you must do something. Floors swept and mopped, clothes off the line and hung up, clean bedsheets. Wow, I feel almost semi-normal.
To my dismay I have to actually wake Linley up to bathe her and get her ready for bed. The boys are home from church. It's so excitin gto hear all the fun stuff they did tonight at the end of school bash at church. Caleb told me he cried. Surprising. Ethan raced all sorts of kids; won and lost some. Then, Linley is ready for nightgown when Caleb walks in with no pants on, again.
"I pooped."
Reverse psychology from me: "In the potty?"
Look of "Now that's a novel idea." but replies with "No."
"Where?"
"By the toilet."
"Look, it's on my foot."
'WHAT?????!!!!! WHERE???"
Caleb sits, to my dismay again since he's not wearing undies, and shows me his foot with poop on it.
UGH.
Linley on the changing table, Caleb poop on his foot, Ethan begging for water and the fingernail clippers that are STILL MIA. No, Ethan, you have to get your own water I have to deal with the poop. Caleb, don't move, stay beside your sister. Now I fetch, good term here, the carpet cleaner. Can I see the poop on the floor? Why no, of course not, I got this beige carpet for a purpose since we have children. So, now I'm on all fours smelling the carpet from where I think Caleb walked from the bathroom to Linley's room. The sprayer is too cool so everyone wants a turn to spray. Someone, stay next to your sister.
"Mom, what are you doing? Are you smelling like a DOG?"
"Yes, I am. Trying to find this poop to clean up."
So picture me, on the floor on all fours, smelling with Ethan and Caleb beside me watching me while they are trying to convince me they can spray the can.
Enter the scene John: "What are you doing?"
Ethan: "Smelling like a DOG for Caleb's poop."
Now, I need to borrow my sister's steam vac again.
Our nights have been somewhat busy. Not just our 6 P.M.-9 P.M. but our say, 1 A.M. to 5 A.M. Linley now sleeps on her belly and loses the paci. I must find it for her, about 4 times last night. Finally, we succumbed and John, blessed husband and dad that he is, fed her at 4 A.M. No, I didn't run this morning despite the fact the alarm sounded, and apparently I told him numerous times to let me "snooze".
The day begins at 7:30, Linley crying ready for morning bottle and Caleb wakes up wanting his morning warm milk. Note: he goes to sleep with his warm milk as well. So, to keep from waking Ethan I tell him to grab his sippy cup and off we go. In my not-yet-awake mood, I rinse out Caleb's cup, put in the milk, warm, and now happy Caleb. Time to feed Linley. Halfway through the bottle Caleb informs me his sippy cup is "Stuck." He can't get his milk out. Hmm, that's odd. Linley finishes her bottle, time for cereal then all of a sudden it happens... Caleb starts throwing up. Oh no. Enough said. He then proceeds to tell me he's "Choking on milk." Bless him. 5 piles later of soured milk I finally grab his sippy cup and open it. That's when I see it. Dum, dum, dummmmmm- last night's soured milk 1/2 inch deep stuck to the bottom of the cup. No wonder the kid was tossing his cookies, he drank the curdled milk and then had to get it out of him. After that, he asked for more milk and wanted pizza and cheese sticks for breakfast. What did he eat for breakfast? Pizza and cheesestick and warm milk.
Somehow the child ends up with no clothes on throughout the morning even though I have yet to find that poop.
Today is my grandmother's 91st birthday. Big discussion of how old that is. Ethan wants to know that once she turns 100 does she die. My prayer is that he not bring THAT up at the birthday party. Oh, did I mention Caleb had to poop in his underwear at Thelma's? Get him cleaned up and changed and now his bottom is hurting. Do I have any baby powder on me? Of course not. But Thelma, being 91 years old, has some kind of "Parfume powder" that only ladies of that generation keep. Now Caleb smells like a girl, but hey, it beats poop smell and no longer complaining about a hurt bottom.
Linley had a rough afternoon and morning so she and I stayed home from church tonight trying to keep her happy. She actually had a LONG nap. PTL. Isn't it amazing how cleaning can make a mom feel like she can take on the world? I mean, I didn't know how much rice and cheese an almost 3 year old and 5 year can drop under a table, but man. And to mention the fact that when your husband starts mentioning that his feet are sticking to the floor underneath the kitchen table, you must do something. Floors swept and mopped, clothes off the line and hung up, clean bedsheets. Wow, I feel almost semi-normal.
To my dismay I have to actually wake Linley up to bathe her and get her ready for bed. The boys are home from church. It's so excitin gto hear all the fun stuff they did tonight at the end of school bash at church. Caleb told me he cried. Surprising. Ethan raced all sorts of kids; won and lost some. Then, Linley is ready for nightgown when Caleb walks in with no pants on, again.
"I pooped."
Reverse psychology from me: "In the potty?"
Look of "Now that's a novel idea." but replies with "No."
"Where?"
"By the toilet."
"Look, it's on my foot."
'WHAT?????!!!!! WHERE???"
Caleb sits, to my dismay again since he's not wearing undies, and shows me his foot with poop on it.
UGH.
Linley on the changing table, Caleb poop on his foot, Ethan begging for water and the fingernail clippers that are STILL MIA. No, Ethan, you have to get your own water I have to deal with the poop. Caleb, don't move, stay beside your sister. Now I fetch, good term here, the carpet cleaner. Can I see the poop on the floor? Why no, of course not, I got this beige carpet for a purpose since we have children. So, now I'm on all fours smelling the carpet from where I think Caleb walked from the bathroom to Linley's room. The sprayer is too cool so everyone wants a turn to spray. Someone, stay next to your sister.
"Mom, what are you doing? Are you smelling like a DOG?"
"Yes, I am. Trying to find this poop to clean up."
So picture me, on the floor on all fours, smelling with Ethan and Caleb beside me watching me while they are trying to convince me they can spray the can.
Enter the scene John: "What are you doing?"
Ethan: "Smelling like a DOG for Caleb's poop."
Now, I need to borrow my sister's steam vac again.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Another poopy day
Warning: Once again, poop, you can't handle- don't read.
Instead of chronological order today I have ranked the poop stories.
4. Two pairs of underwear in the back yard that were once on a Caleb, now abandoned due to bowel movement.
3. After seeing Caleb come in the house, again, without underwear I ask him, "Where did you poop?" His reply, "Outside."
Me:"Where outside?"
Caleb, pointing:"I gave it to the kittens."
Nice. I walk outside, see the underwear, at least he didn't touch it just threw the underwear to them. I walk back inside and notice on the porch a toy saw for one of the army men. But wait, that's not dirt that he was sawing. Yes, it is poop. A lesson to Caleb on not sawing your poop with the toys.
2. Caleb is very quiet while I am assembling a lego Thomas thing, I'm not an engineer for a good reason. Caleb, of course, is pooping and I, frustrated, tell him to go to the bathroom and clean up. A couple minutes and no Caleb so off I go to check on him. What do I see? Caleb, an empty toilet paper roll, and the plunger in the toilet, water on the floor. His response: "I put too much." You think?
1. Went to the park today and Caleb is having a great time playing on the big slide for the first time. He is by himself up there, Linley asleep in the stroller, Ethan riding his bicycle. I turn to see Caleb at the top of the structure, pants off, shoes off, and looking down through the metal holes to the ground. Oh dear, here comes a grandmother with her granddaughter. I run up the structure, across the "Shaky Bridge"( as the boys call it) very gracefully as you can imagine and up the steps to Caleb. I grab the underwear, not too bad so throw it back on him along with the shorts and the shoes. "Where is the poop?" Caleb, pointing to the mulch below, "Down there." Great. I get him down, go back to the diaper bag, get a wipe, and start searching for the poop all the while "Grandma" is right next to me surely wondering what in the world I am doing with a wipe looking on the ground. Find the poop and disposed of. Caleb may now be my poopy dog. I need a doggie poop bag to take with me to the park for my kid. Lovely.
Instead of chronological order today I have ranked the poop stories.
4. Two pairs of underwear in the back yard that were once on a Caleb, now abandoned due to bowel movement.
3. After seeing Caleb come in the house, again, without underwear I ask him, "Where did you poop?" His reply, "Outside."
Me:"Where outside?"
Caleb, pointing:"I gave it to the kittens."
Nice. I walk outside, see the underwear, at least he didn't touch it just threw the underwear to them. I walk back inside and notice on the porch a toy saw for one of the army men. But wait, that's not dirt that he was sawing. Yes, it is poop. A lesson to Caleb on not sawing your poop with the toys.
2. Caleb is very quiet while I am assembling a lego Thomas thing, I'm not an engineer for a good reason. Caleb, of course, is pooping and I, frustrated, tell him to go to the bathroom and clean up. A couple minutes and no Caleb so off I go to check on him. What do I see? Caleb, an empty toilet paper roll, and the plunger in the toilet, water on the floor. His response: "I put too much." You think?
1. Went to the park today and Caleb is having a great time playing on the big slide for the first time. He is by himself up there, Linley asleep in the stroller, Ethan riding his bicycle. I turn to see Caleb at the top of the structure, pants off, shoes off, and looking down through the metal holes to the ground. Oh dear, here comes a grandmother with her granddaughter. I run up the structure, across the "Shaky Bridge"( as the boys call it) very gracefully as you can imagine and up the steps to Caleb. I grab the underwear, not too bad so throw it back on him along with the shorts and the shoes. "Where is the poop?" Caleb, pointing to the mulch below, "Down there." Great. I get him down, go back to the diaper bag, get a wipe, and start searching for the poop all the while "Grandma" is right next to me surely wondering what in the world I am doing with a wipe looking on the ground. Find the poop and disposed of. Caleb may now be my poopy dog. I need a doggie poop bag to take with me to the park for my kid. Lovely.
Monday, May 7, 2012
I wouldn't change a thing, well, maybe ONE thing.
WARNING: if you don't like poop then you should not read this post. May gross some of you out, but this is life with a 5 year old, almost 3 year old, and 4 month old.
It all started at 12:45 A.M., the first go around with Linley this morning. Poor thing, hungry with a cold. Suctioned snot, fed, changed, back to bed we go. 5:00 A.M., round two with Linley again. John goes to work 6:15 A.M., boys up at 7:10 A.M. My first question of the morning: "Did you go in your sisters' room?" Better not wake that child up.
Before 8 A.M. dawns I already have one crying over some sort of Thomas the Train because they won't share and then big brother has had it and kicks Caleb. Ugh. Timeout before 8? Really? Training and discipline do not wait until I've had my morning tea or devotional.
I have to say, I was quite proud of myself during this training time because I told Ethan, "Now, if you feel like you have to kick something then come in your room and kick a pillow or your stuffed animal." Why yes, that did sound like an alternate to kicking Caleb. My wisdom was then returned to me with, "Nah. It hurt my foot. Don't think I will again." I am glad. Blow my nose, 1 lb lighter, Ethan determines it looks like poop, sister's of course.
Linley is awake now, still haven't fed the boys but they won't eat until they are ready anyway so feed her and it's time to get ready for Bible study. Hold on, there is Caleb and some sort of odor, yes, he has pooped. At least I hadn't changed him out of his nighttime diaper yet. For potty training purposes the child pulls his cotton pjs back on minus underwear. Oh well, least I won't have to clean that up later, I think. It's now time to get ready for Bible study and we are off.
Praise the Lord that we are building a new parking lot at church. I mean, what can make a boys' day any better than diggers, bulldozers, and rollers all in one place just for us to watch? I mean, really AWESOME! Spent half of the Bible study outside watching the kids boldly run to the edge of dirt, scream at a digger, and run back to the concrete like that dozer was going to get them. Honestly, it took some convincing Caleb to get out of the van at one point because that digger was going to "dig me." Playtime in the church while snack is going on and Caleb disappears...should have known. Poop again, now in the underwear. At least it's not under a chair in the sanctuary. Off we go to the bathroom and where is the change of clothes? Where else but in the van? Oh well. Minus underwear again.
Late, and I do mean late lunch, and once again, there goes Caleb off to the back porch. What is he doing? Probably going to check on those new kittens that the cat brought for us to see, how sweet? Well, he was being sweet and listening to my instructions on "No poop in the house," but he stripped off his pants, AGAIN, and left the poop on the back porch. Really? At least it's not in the house on the floor. A while later, I hear Ethan pretending to be a robot again, "I am PooPoo Bot," No son, you are not PooPoo Bot. Discussions begin, "How did you poop in the potty with Linley in your belly?" Seriously, you are 5, how do you come up with that? "Why don't we say Butthole? I just scratched it?" Boys.
Oh, forgot to mention, our goat had a mid-afternoon snack on our APPLE tree!!! Ethan's question, "Mom, what are we screaming at?" Hello, mutton anyone?
John's almost home so it's time to make supper, everyone wants to help. Safe rule of thumb in this house: ALWAYS WASH HANDS NO MATTER WHAT. It may seem like dirt, but cannot assume anything. Taco bake, discussion over how gross it is, boys again, lettuce literally thrown in-great helpers, cheese sprinkled on-boys must then take their handfulls of shredded cheese and step out on the porch for their appetizer, I don't feel like sweeping right now. Taco bake in the oven, praise the Lord John is home and Linley is no longer crying even though I didn't hear her due to the fact my head was so stopped up and the vent was going.
Taco bake in the over so a few minutes to spare so we can pick up the yard for mowing. Ethan then says it in a tone I know well, "Mom." Oh great, I knew what it was. Poop. In . the. yard. I mean picking up your child's poop out of the yard. Come on. Don't judge, it will happen to you and you'll think, "I used to be that person who judged..."
Dinner a success, time to mow, Linley is fed and ready to go out with us, yard work begins and children are helping. Ethan mows, Caleb locks himself in the house (yes, we were outside but we do have a spare somewhere...) because he's at the stage now that he is scared of the mower. I have to verbally tell Caleb how to unlock our door and convince him that yes, he can do it. He locked it, he can unlock it. Oh yeah, that's done, now come help me. No thanks. Linley is in the stroller watching me weed and mulch, Caleb is running back and forth in the house and out from the mower, Ethan is asleep on the mower with Dad.
All of that done, it's time to jump. Trampoline time. I'm mooned so many times I can't remember. Now, they both decide to take off their shirts so we have a naked 2 year old running around on the trampoline and big brother who doesn't think anything about it. Oh dear, Linley is no longer entertained and is screaming. Up she goes. But wait, my nose is stopped up but I definitely smell something...Linley has pooped. Here we go inside and it is all the way up her back. Oh well, bath time anyway.
Boys are getting haircuts from Dad, suckers in hand, and out they go. Whew, a minute of Dancing with the Stars. Well, two minutes.
Bathtime begins, hair everywhere. Oldest is ready for bath. In comes Caleb, he's ready for bath. Do you know what makes a really good facial on boys? Snot and dirt, great mud-facial. Boys clean, Linley clean, new pj's, Linley is cackling at the brothers due to the fact they are acting like the "Rock Stars" on their new shirts, and it's time for snack and bed.
Whew. I'm worn out. What a day. The Lord has blessed our family with these kids, with an amazing husband. We've always wanted to be missionaries, and you know what? I have my own mission field right in my own house. I wouldn't change a thing about it. Well, maybe one thing, picking up poop out of the yard is just gross. But then, this post wouldn't be near as memorable would it?
It all started at 12:45 A.M., the first go around with Linley this morning. Poor thing, hungry with a cold. Suctioned snot, fed, changed, back to bed we go. 5:00 A.M., round two with Linley again. John goes to work 6:15 A.M., boys up at 7:10 A.M. My first question of the morning: "Did you go in your sisters' room?" Better not wake that child up.
Before 8 A.M. dawns I already have one crying over some sort of Thomas the Train because they won't share and then big brother has had it and kicks Caleb. Ugh. Timeout before 8? Really? Training and discipline do not wait until I've had my morning tea or devotional.
I have to say, I was quite proud of myself during this training time because I told Ethan, "Now, if you feel like you have to kick something then come in your room and kick a pillow or your stuffed animal." Why yes, that did sound like an alternate to kicking Caleb. My wisdom was then returned to me with, "Nah. It hurt my foot. Don't think I will again." I am glad. Blow my nose, 1 lb lighter, Ethan determines it looks like poop, sister's of course.
Linley is awake now, still haven't fed the boys but they won't eat until they are ready anyway so feed her and it's time to get ready for Bible study. Hold on, there is Caleb and some sort of odor, yes, he has pooped. At least I hadn't changed him out of his nighttime diaper yet. For potty training purposes the child pulls his cotton pjs back on minus underwear. Oh well, least I won't have to clean that up later, I think. It's now time to get ready for Bible study and we are off.
Praise the Lord that we are building a new parking lot at church. I mean, what can make a boys' day any better than diggers, bulldozers, and rollers all in one place just for us to watch? I mean, really AWESOME! Spent half of the Bible study outside watching the kids boldly run to the edge of dirt, scream at a digger, and run back to the concrete like that dozer was going to get them. Honestly, it took some convincing Caleb to get out of the van at one point because that digger was going to "dig me." Playtime in the church while snack is going on and Caleb disappears...should have known. Poop again, now in the underwear. At least it's not under a chair in the sanctuary. Off we go to the bathroom and where is the change of clothes? Where else but in the van? Oh well. Minus underwear again.
Late, and I do mean late lunch, and once again, there goes Caleb off to the back porch. What is he doing? Probably going to check on those new kittens that the cat brought for us to see, how sweet? Well, he was being sweet and listening to my instructions on "No poop in the house," but he stripped off his pants, AGAIN, and left the poop on the back porch. Really? At least it's not in the house on the floor. A while later, I hear Ethan pretending to be a robot again, "I am PooPoo Bot," No son, you are not PooPoo Bot. Discussions begin, "How did you poop in the potty with Linley in your belly?" Seriously, you are 5, how do you come up with that? "Why don't we say Butthole? I just scratched it?" Boys.
Oh, forgot to mention, our goat had a mid-afternoon snack on our APPLE tree!!! Ethan's question, "Mom, what are we screaming at?" Hello, mutton anyone?
John's almost home so it's time to make supper, everyone wants to help. Safe rule of thumb in this house: ALWAYS WASH HANDS NO MATTER WHAT. It may seem like dirt, but cannot assume anything. Taco bake, discussion over how gross it is, boys again, lettuce literally thrown in-great helpers, cheese sprinkled on-boys must then take their handfulls of shredded cheese and step out on the porch for their appetizer, I don't feel like sweeping right now. Taco bake in the oven, praise the Lord John is home and Linley is no longer crying even though I didn't hear her due to the fact my head was so stopped up and the vent was going.
Taco bake in the over so a few minutes to spare so we can pick up the yard for mowing. Ethan then says it in a tone I know well, "Mom." Oh great, I knew what it was. Poop. In . the. yard. I mean picking up your child's poop out of the yard. Come on. Don't judge, it will happen to you and you'll think, "I used to be that person who judged..."
Dinner a success, time to mow, Linley is fed and ready to go out with us, yard work begins and children are helping. Ethan mows, Caleb locks himself in the house (yes, we were outside but we do have a spare somewhere...) because he's at the stage now that he is scared of the mower. I have to verbally tell Caleb how to unlock our door and convince him that yes, he can do it. He locked it, he can unlock it. Oh yeah, that's done, now come help me. No thanks. Linley is in the stroller watching me weed and mulch, Caleb is running back and forth in the house and out from the mower, Ethan is asleep on the mower with Dad.
All of that done, it's time to jump. Trampoline time. I'm mooned so many times I can't remember. Now, they both decide to take off their shirts so we have a naked 2 year old running around on the trampoline and big brother who doesn't think anything about it. Oh dear, Linley is no longer entertained and is screaming. Up she goes. But wait, my nose is stopped up but I definitely smell something...Linley has pooped. Here we go inside and it is all the way up her back. Oh well, bath time anyway.
Boys are getting haircuts from Dad, suckers in hand, and out they go. Whew, a minute of Dancing with the Stars. Well, two minutes.
Bathtime begins, hair everywhere. Oldest is ready for bath. In comes Caleb, he's ready for bath. Do you know what makes a really good facial on boys? Snot and dirt, great mud-facial. Boys clean, Linley clean, new pj's, Linley is cackling at the brothers due to the fact they are acting like the "Rock Stars" on their new shirts, and it's time for snack and bed.
Whew. I'm worn out. What a day. The Lord has blessed our family with these kids, with an amazing husband. We've always wanted to be missionaries, and you know what? I have my own mission field right in my own house. I wouldn't change a thing about it. Well, maybe one thing, picking up poop out of the yard is just gross. But then, this post wouldn't be near as memorable would it?
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