http://www.messtoblessed.com/i-got-pooped-on/
I've started transferring things over to this blog now! This one is a funny one :)
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
Caleb is 6!
I can't believe it, Caleb is 6. This boy. Oh this boy.
Caleb, you are 6 so here are 6 things I love about you. Where to begin, I have no idea.
1. Your creativity. I walked into Linley's room yesterday and you had built this huge toy, out of girl legos no less, for her to play with and it was some sort of lego man that is the size of one of her dolls. You made a Darth Maul lightsaber out of a tomato stick that is about as tall as your dad...plus you painted the two ends red...with spray paint...on the back porch.
2. Your joy. You are constantly giggling. It cracks me up. Even at 3 this morning, when Ethan wanted to get in bed with you, and you decided to go commando last night. So much for my serious talk at 3 am, I don't think you heard a bit of it; you were too busy giggling (Side note, you said your undies were too tight, I don't see how).
3. Your silliness. You are constantly playing jokes or trying to make us laugh. Tickling is your game. And tooting in my face, and burping every time you take a drink. You crack me up.
4. Your strength in your individuality. You don't really care what anyone else is doing, well, except for Ethan. If they aren't doing what you want, well, you don't really see them. You do your own thing. God will use that.
5. Your love for your family. You live to irritate Linley and spoil Abigail. However much you try to irritate Linley, you two are glued together. Whenever I turn around in this house, you two are together. And Abigail, mercy, she is going to be a diva the way you treat her. You love Ethan so much. Seriously, you may fight, but you two are like two peas in a pod. You will be one awesome Dad.
6. Your work ethic. You really work hard at everything you do. Whether it is at school, building toys, or drawing (which you do a lot).
You got saved not too long ago, which was a total surprise to me. You wouldn't let me go in the house when everyone else went in and had me lead you through asking Jesus in your heart.
My heart is so happy because of you. You are a joy to be around. I love you Bubba. So so very much.
PS. If I ever do write a book, I'm sure you'll play a big role in it :)
1. Your creativity. I walked into Linley's room yesterday and you had built this huge toy, out of girl legos no less, for her to play with and it was some sort of lego man that is the size of one of her dolls. You made a Darth Maul lightsaber out of a tomato stick that is about as tall as your dad...plus you painted the two ends red...with spray paint...on the back porch.
2. Your joy. You are constantly giggling. It cracks me up. Even at 3 this morning, when Ethan wanted to get in bed with you, and you decided to go commando last night. So much for my serious talk at 3 am, I don't think you heard a bit of it; you were too busy giggling (Side note, you said your undies were too tight, I don't see how).
5. Your love for your family. You live to irritate Linley and spoil Abigail. However much you try to irritate Linley, you two are glued together. Whenever I turn around in this house, you two are together. And Abigail, mercy, she is going to be a diva the way you treat her. You love Ethan so much. Seriously, you may fight, but you two are like two peas in a pod. You will be one awesome Dad.
You got saved not too long ago, which was a total surprise to me. You wouldn't let me go in the house when everyone else went in and had me lead you through asking Jesus in your heart.
My heart is so happy because of you. You are a joy to be around. I love you Bubba. So so very much.
PS. If I ever do write a book, I'm sure you'll play a big role in it :)
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Aunt Betsy's
Well, I can tell I say that alot because my 3 year old says it alot. So, well, road trip. With Mams, with me and 4 kids. Can I just say how awesome this was, let me tell you. I'm sure Mams won't be forgetting it very soon.
Hubby was at a work conference so I decide to load up all 4 kids and Mams and head to Betsy's house 3 1/2 hours away. Goal to leave: 6:30 AM. Left: 6:37 AM. Yes. I woke up the cows this morning by watering them at before the sun woke everyone up good. Considering I had a baby to feed and 3 other kids to feed, we did well to leave 7 minutes late. But, Linley. Linley Linley Linley. She is now potty trained. And strong willed. And has a pattern. She only goes to the potty in the morning well after she has been up for a while. Needless to say, 15 minutes did not give us that luxury.
So, with 4 kids, me, and a Grandma in the van plus enough snacks to feed Fort Knox and a pink potty chair we head to Sister's house. We made it 30 minutes. 30 minutes. Before we had to stop ON THE SIDE OF THE PARKWAY and Linley has to go. Now, we didn't make it to an exit because she is crying because she has to pee so bad. So, at 7:10 AM we pull over, I unload the potty chair and plan to set it in the grass, BUT WAIT, the grass has not been mowed this season as best I can tell because there is NO WAY I'm going in grass that tall much less putting a potty chair in the middle of it. So, I do what only could be done, sit the potty chair right behind the van, closest to the grass as I could. Both boys now decide to hop out and pee too. So, if you were one of the truckers driving by at 7:10 that morning you would have seen 1. A pink potty chair with a 3 year old sitting on it in the emergency lane, 2 boys peeing on the side of the road, and 3. A Grandmother shaking her head.
After everyone has successfully used the bathroom, dumped the potty chair, and buckled back in their car seats we are now back on the road.
Can I say that this happened AGAIN on the way home? And, on this last stop I had to feed the baby and the boys had to get out and pee again. And a state trooper and sherriff sat there and watched us for 20 minutes and never stopped to ask us if we were okay. Let me tell you dear Community Helper, best to stay away.
And the baby cried for 2 hours on the drive home. Valium please anyone?
Hubby was at a work conference so I decide to load up all 4 kids and Mams and head to Betsy's house 3 1/2 hours away. Goal to leave: 6:30 AM. Left: 6:37 AM. Yes. I woke up the cows this morning by watering them at before the sun woke everyone up good. Considering I had a baby to feed and 3 other kids to feed, we did well to leave 7 minutes late. But, Linley. Linley Linley Linley. She is now potty trained. And strong willed. And has a pattern. She only goes to the potty in the morning well after she has been up for a while. Needless to say, 15 minutes did not give us that luxury.
So, with 4 kids, me, and a Grandma in the van plus enough snacks to feed Fort Knox and a pink potty chair we head to Sister's house. We made it 30 minutes. 30 minutes. Before we had to stop ON THE SIDE OF THE PARKWAY and Linley has to go. Now, we didn't make it to an exit because she is crying because she has to pee so bad. So, at 7:10 AM we pull over, I unload the potty chair and plan to set it in the grass, BUT WAIT, the grass has not been mowed this season as best I can tell because there is NO WAY I'm going in grass that tall much less putting a potty chair in the middle of it. So, I do what only could be done, sit the potty chair right behind the van, closest to the grass as I could. Both boys now decide to hop out and pee too. So, if you were one of the truckers driving by at 7:10 that morning you would have seen 1. A pink potty chair with a 3 year old sitting on it in the emergency lane, 2 boys peeing on the side of the road, and 3. A Grandmother shaking her head.
After everyone has successfully used the bathroom, dumped the potty chair, and buckled back in their car seats we are now back on the road.
Can I say that this happened AGAIN on the way home? And, on this last stop I had to feed the baby and the boys had to get out and pee again. And a state trooper and sherriff sat there and watched us for 20 minutes and never stopped to ask us if we were okay. Let me tell you dear Community Helper, best to stay away.
And the baby cried for 2 hours on the drive home. Valium please anyone?
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Bathroom etiquette in the Cole household
A few things I've learned for bathroom etiquette.
1. Never, I mean never, use anything that has not been in the towel closet. For instance, I caught Caleb in the bathroom, wiping, using MY towel that I hang up after a shower. Did I mention that I reuse my towels after a shower usually once? Yeah, that makes a nice thought. Wiping my face with my nice towel that Caleb used to wipe his rear. Yes, NEVER reuse a towel again.
2. Always check the lid. You may fall in, and if you may fall in, it probably has pee in it. Yes, screaming is usually involved.
3. If it is wet, even if it's in the sink, don't assume that it's from the water in the sink. Yesterday, Linley was so upset and would not stop crying. I took her to the bathroom, took care of morning business, went to wash my hands and my hairband was in it. I pick it up and hang it on a door knob when Linley all of a sudden quits crying and starts cracking up giggling.
I ask her what?
and she replies: "I pretended it was dirty. And washed it. In the TOILET." giggle giggle giggle.
Me: You washed it in the toilet?
Linley, giggling all the more now. "Yep." In her deep voice.
Me: So I guess you pulled it out with your hands huh?
Linley: Uh huh.
Yes, so this explains ALL of the water ON the toilet, ON the floor, and ON the sink. No use pretending that it's sink water. We all know what she did. But, I'm still not letting myself dwell on the fact that she washed my hairband in the toilet, which could possibly have had urine in it, and then put it in the sink, with water all over the entire bathroom. Just. Not. Going. There.
Lessons in bathroom etiquette at the Cole's: If you personally did not get it out of the linen closet, well, then, it's your own fault.
1. Never, I mean never, use anything that has not been in the towel closet. For instance, I caught Caleb in the bathroom, wiping, using MY towel that I hang up after a shower. Did I mention that I reuse my towels after a shower usually once? Yeah, that makes a nice thought. Wiping my face with my nice towel that Caleb used to wipe his rear. Yes, NEVER reuse a towel again.
2. Always check the lid. You may fall in, and if you may fall in, it probably has pee in it. Yes, screaming is usually involved.
3. If it is wet, even if it's in the sink, don't assume that it's from the water in the sink. Yesterday, Linley was so upset and would not stop crying. I took her to the bathroom, took care of morning business, went to wash my hands and my hairband was in it. I pick it up and hang it on a door knob when Linley all of a sudden quits crying and starts cracking up giggling.
I ask her what?
and she replies: "I pretended it was dirty. And washed it. In the TOILET." giggle giggle giggle.
Me: You washed it in the toilet?
Linley, giggling all the more now. "Yep." In her deep voice.
Me: So I guess you pulled it out with your hands huh?
Linley: Uh huh.
Yes, so this explains ALL of the water ON the toilet, ON the floor, and ON the sink. No use pretending that it's sink water. We all know what she did. But, I'm still not letting myself dwell on the fact that she washed my hairband in the toilet, which could possibly have had urine in it, and then put it in the sink, with water all over the entire bathroom. Just. Not. Going. There.
Lessons in bathroom etiquette at the Cole's: If you personally did not get it out of the linen closet, well, then, it's your own fault.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Pride
Well, if you are reading this you probably have an issue with pride. I mean, fess up, we all have it. If you are a parent, I know you have it...otherwise God would not have given you children. I have determined that I must have had a heart issue of pride, or God would not have placed these bundles of joy with me and completely make me eat humble pie constantly. Privately, with the other children around, in front of my husband, and specifically this week in full view of everyone at the ballfields.
For instance:
1. Caleb is playing t-ball. Can I say one thing? Bless it. I mean really, t-ball. I remember Ethan playing t-ball and I was so stressed. Now here is Caleb, and well, I can't really be stressed. BECAUSE; Caleb playing hind-catcher the other night with you know, about 30 parents and various assorted children watching. When, the ENTIRE inning, he proceeds to dig in his buttcheecks. And let me tell you, this what not a discreet scratch, this was a searching for gold kind of scratch the FULL inning. And of course, grandparents are here watching, Ethan yells at him for support: Quit scratching your butt Caleb!. What can a parent do? I mean really? After telling him discreetly and giving him the "I'm going to kill you with my eyes" look which got a little giggle from him and a finger pointing at me, I make a bee-line to hubby in the dugout to PLEASE MOVE HIM TO OUTFIELD. He can't do that, he doesn't control the positions. Praise the Lord the game was over after that.
2. Ethan is playing machine-pitch baseball. He is going through some sort of thing where he has to know where we are at all times. Yes, I'm sorry son, I was like this as a child. So, the other night I was home with sick Abigail and John was at the fields. The game goes on for an extra-inning so John stands up just to stretch his legs. What do you think happens but the boy starts squalling like a baby. Literally, sobbing, on the field, surrounded by teammates and coaches. Poor Coach, he didn't know what was up and when Ethan saw John he calmed down. He just loves us, what can I say?
3. Tonight Caleb had a double header. Getting to the fields consisted of this: Abigail is ticked because she decided naps were not a necessity today at Mams and Pops' house, Linley is screaming because she didn't like the pants she was wearing, Caleb is being yelled at because he can't find his hat and for some reason his shoe is bothering him and he runs out of the house with a shoe in his hand. 3 out of 4. So we make it to the fields, game 1 is in the books with just a fussy Abigail. Then comes game 2. Oh game 2. Pride must have been an issue with game 1 (hey, he didn't dig his rear the whole time), so game 2 I must have needed humble pie. Enter Caleb practicing swinging to get up to bat, 5 feet in front of me, when you hear one of the loudest toots ever. He turns, giggles to the other teammate who DEFINITELY heard it, then he notices that a group of 3 teenage girls, a Mom, me and Granddad all heard it. The giggles get going by everyone in the stands. He turns around, looks at those teenage girls, and tells them to "Quit laughing." Which ends up making it worse so more laughing. Please, my head is in the sand now.
Linley is bored so she dumps the shoes. Then, it gets better. Linley decides she wants to play in a water hole. But wait, it hasn't rained in a couple days. So, she dumps her Sprite on the ground, and proceeds to jump in the Sprite barefooted right next to the dugout.
Resourceful.
Oh, it can't stop there.
Abigail is screaming so we are leaving. Then Linley decides that her pants are dirty. So, what does she do right beside her granddad? TAKE THEM OFF. Right there for all the world to see. Yes, she was wearing a dress so we could go with it, but getting them off, well, Pappy saw a full moon tonight and it was not the one rotating the Earth.
So, Pride, well there you have it. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Galatians 6:3.
Oh yall, to give you a heads up, there was another incident that was so embarrassing that I will not write it on here. My kids will thank me later.
For instance:
1. Caleb is playing t-ball. Can I say one thing? Bless it. I mean really, t-ball. I remember Ethan playing t-ball and I was so stressed. Now here is Caleb, and well, I can't really be stressed. BECAUSE; Caleb playing hind-catcher the other night with you know, about 30 parents and various assorted children watching. When, the ENTIRE inning, he proceeds to dig in his buttcheecks. And let me tell you, this what not a discreet scratch, this was a searching for gold kind of scratch the FULL inning. And of course, grandparents are here watching, Ethan yells at him for support: Quit scratching your butt Caleb!. What can a parent do? I mean really? After telling him discreetly and giving him the "I'm going to kill you with my eyes" look which got a little giggle from him and a finger pointing at me, I make a bee-line to hubby in the dugout to PLEASE MOVE HIM TO OUTFIELD. He can't do that, he doesn't control the positions. Praise the Lord the game was over after that.
2. Ethan is playing machine-pitch baseball. He is going through some sort of thing where he has to know where we are at all times. Yes, I'm sorry son, I was like this as a child. So, the other night I was home with sick Abigail and John was at the fields. The game goes on for an extra-inning so John stands up just to stretch his legs. What do you think happens but the boy starts squalling like a baby. Literally, sobbing, on the field, surrounded by teammates and coaches. Poor Coach, he didn't know what was up and when Ethan saw John he calmed down. He just loves us, what can I say?
3. Tonight Caleb had a double header. Getting to the fields consisted of this: Abigail is ticked because she decided naps were not a necessity today at Mams and Pops' house, Linley is screaming because she didn't like the pants she was wearing, Caleb is being yelled at because he can't find his hat and for some reason his shoe is bothering him and he runs out of the house with a shoe in his hand. 3 out of 4. So we make it to the fields, game 1 is in the books with just a fussy Abigail. Then comes game 2. Oh game 2. Pride must have been an issue with game 1 (hey, he didn't dig his rear the whole time), so game 2 I must have needed humble pie. Enter Caleb practicing swinging to get up to bat, 5 feet in front of me, when you hear one of the loudest toots ever. He turns, giggles to the other teammate who DEFINITELY heard it, then he notices that a group of 3 teenage girls, a Mom, me and Granddad all heard it. The giggles get going by everyone in the stands. He turns around, looks at those teenage girls, and tells them to "Quit laughing." Which ends up making it worse so more laughing. Please, my head is in the sand now.
Linley is bored so she dumps the shoes. Then, it gets better. Linley decides she wants to play in a water hole. But wait, it hasn't rained in a couple days. So, she dumps her Sprite on the ground, and proceeds to jump in the Sprite barefooted right next to the dugout.
Resourceful.
Oh, it can't stop there.
Abigail is screaming so we are leaving. Then Linley decides that her pants are dirty. So, what does she do right beside her granddad? TAKE THEM OFF. Right there for all the world to see. Yes, she was wearing a dress so we could go with it, but getting them off, well, Pappy saw a full moon tonight and it was not the one rotating the Earth.
So, Pride, well there you have it. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Galatians 6:3.
Oh yall, to give you a heads up, there was another incident that was so embarrassing that I will not write it on here. My kids will thank me later.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Ethan's 8
Ethan just turned 8 on April 1st. So, as usual, here is the top 8 things I love about you Ethan!
1. Your fun.
You make me laugh, and you are filled with joy. You dance around the house, make funny noises, and play jokes all the time. You are fun to be around!
2. Your faith and wisdom. Sometimes, it blows me away. In December I heard you stop and pray in the kitchen after breakfast. When I asked you what you were doing you told me, "Well, we're supposed to start our day talking to God." Yes, son. Amen. Your name means "wise" and that you are in so many ways.
3. Your perfectionism. Now this one does make it hard on mom and dad sometimes. But, God has made you detail oriented for a purpose and I appreciate it. God is going to use you to do mighty things with it.
4. Your empathy and compassion. Boy, you are one the most compassionate people I know. Truly. And you show it constantly (Though sometimes it is stretched thin with Caleb). You are constantly encouraging others, showing compassion for them, and are so understanding. God is going to use that to bring people to Him.
5. Your gentleness. You aren't very aggressive which can sometimes go against you in this world, but God has made you that way...and I appreciate it as well as others around you.
6. Your love your siblings and they love you. Linley Claire wants to play anything with you, and you will normally stop what you are doing to do it with her. She loves you.
7. You love. You love everyone. You especially Abigail, you can't handle it when she cries. You've even started going and getting her out of her crib when she starts crying and bring her to me. I really don't want to watch how you do that, but you do and she loves it. God is love. You are going to be an awesome Daddy and husband one day.
8. You are responsible. I trust you. I can depend on you. Yes, you are 8, but I trust you to make good judgement calls and good moral calls.
It's been some rough spots this year you getting closer to being in the tween stage. Some hard lessons are being learned especially about friends and fitting in. But here's what counts: God has made you,do your best and work for the Lord. Follow the straight and narrow despite the people around you and in the end, you will have for yourself treasure in Heaven. Being different is okay, it's actually pretty cool. Jesus was.
You make me laugh, and you are filled with joy. You dance around the house, make funny noises, and play jokes all the time. You are fun to be around!
2. Your faith and wisdom. Sometimes, it blows me away. In December I heard you stop and pray in the kitchen after breakfast. When I asked you what you were doing you told me, "Well, we're supposed to start our day talking to God." Yes, son. Amen. Your name means "wise" and that you are in so many ways.
3. Your perfectionism. Now this one does make it hard on mom and dad sometimes. But, God has made you detail oriented for a purpose and I appreciate it. God is going to use you to do mighty things with it.
4. Your empathy and compassion. Boy, you are one the most compassionate people I know. Truly. And you show it constantly (Though sometimes it is stretched thin with Caleb). You are constantly encouraging others, showing compassion for them, and are so understanding. God is going to use that to bring people to Him.
5. Your gentleness. You aren't very aggressive which can sometimes go against you in this world, but God has made you that way...and I appreciate it as well as others around you.
6. Your love your siblings and they love you. Linley Claire wants to play anything with you, and you will normally stop what you are doing to do it with her. She loves you.
7. You love. You love everyone. You especially Abigail, you can't handle it when she cries. You've even started going and getting her out of her crib when she starts crying and bring her to me. I really don't want to watch how you do that, but you do and she loves it. God is love. You are going to be an awesome Daddy and husband one day.
8. You are responsible. I trust you. I can depend on you. Yes, you are 8, but I trust you to make good judgement calls and good moral calls.
It's been some rough spots this year you getting closer to being in the tween stage. Some hard lessons are being learned especially about friends and fitting in. But here's what counts: God has made you,do your best and work for the Lord. Follow the straight and narrow despite the people around you and in the end, you will have for yourself treasure in Heaven. Being different is okay, it's actually pretty cool. Jesus was.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Linley is 3.
Yes. I am late on this. Over a month late. But hey. At least it's getting done.
This little girl is a super hero. She is not your run of the mill little girl. At least I don't think she is. She is dainty and she is a tomboy in one package. Literally. Her favorite things are playing superheroes with her brothers. As you can see.
She dances like no one is looking. Always remember this Linley Claire. Be exactly who God has created you to be. He is the only one the matters in the long run anyway.
Diva. Yes, I might classify you as a Diva. I mean, check out this pic. Hello? I do blame this on your brothers. They tend to dote on you.
Yes, you are a tomboy. You get that from me plus having two older brothers. Earlier this week,
you and I were playing Cinderella Barbie. I had the big one, and you had the smaller one. Yours was laying down. This is our discussion:
Me: Hello little Cinderella. What are you doing?
Linley: I'm dead.
Me: Little Cinderella you are dead?
Linley: Yes. I got shot in the belly.
Me: Oh no Little Cinderella. Can I help you?
Linley: No. I dead. I got shot in the belly.
Then you proceed to make her fall in the floor. Yes, you have big brothers too.
So, three things for your 3rd birthday to sum it up:
1. I love that you love Jesus. Everytime you go to sleep you have to name that Jesus loves everyone, including you, in our family. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength."
2. I love that you are your own person. This is sometimes hard to deal with, especially on my end. You are loud, vocal, independent, and somewhat stubborn. *cough cough, no idea where that comes from. "I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
3. I love that you are so joyful. Girlfriend, you dance to just about anything and you got some moves. The other day you turned around to me, and said, "Mom, look, I SHAKE MY BOOTY!!" Merciful girl, you crack me up. "Be joyful in the Lord always!"
I love you Linley Claire! Happy 3rd birthday!
This little girl is a super hero. She is not your run of the mill little girl. At least I don't think she is. She is dainty and she is a tomboy in one package. Literally. Her favorite things are playing superheroes with her brothers. As you can see.
She dances like no one is looking. Always remember this Linley Claire. Be exactly who God has created you to be. He is the only one the matters in the long run anyway.
She is sweet. A lot of the time. Not 100%, but hey, pretty close.
Me: Hello little Cinderella. What are you doing?
Linley: I'm dead.
Me: Little Cinderella you are dead?
Linley: Yes. I got shot in the belly.
Me: Oh no Little Cinderella. Can I help you?
Linley: No. I dead. I got shot in the belly.
Then you proceed to make her fall in the floor. Yes, you have big brothers too.
So, three things for your 3rd birthday to sum it up:
1. I love that you love Jesus. Everytime you go to sleep you have to name that Jesus loves everyone, including you, in our family. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength."
2. I love that you are your own person. This is sometimes hard to deal with, especially on my end. You are loud, vocal, independent, and somewhat stubborn. *cough cough, no idea where that comes from. "I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
3. I love that you are so joyful. Girlfriend, you dance to just about anything and you got some moves. The other day you turned around to me, and said, "Mom, look, I SHAKE MY BOOTY!!" Merciful girl, you crack me up. "Be joyful in the Lord always!"
I love you Linley Claire! Happy 3rd birthday!
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Car troubles
Today we had an adventure...in the van...that was NOT how we had planned...
As we are making our way to Mams and Pops' house tonight, we had to make a couple stops along the way. Wal-Mart (shocker), Tractor Supply (cows), and Lowe's (of course). Wal-Mart was the highlight since we spent Christmas money and the boys bought two new light-sabers that apparently have a light saber on EACH end, two for the price of two :P We then make it to TSC and I hear in the back, "When is Dad coming? Is it time to go eat at Mams and Pops yet?" "We're almost done and then we'll be at Mams and Pops'". At this point Abigail is starting to protest as well since she is ready for supper.
Next stop, Lowes. John goes in to my somewhat lecture: Go as fast as you can. Abigail is fussing and is ready to eat. (Of course she isn't as I'm pointing this out to John). John goes in and the complaining starts, "Mom, how long is Dad going to be in there? Is he coming? I've been praying to Jesus that he will come out but he STILL isn't coming. Are we going to live here?" My response: "He is coming, I told him to hurry because of Abigail. Sometimes it just takes a little while to get things." Ethan, "I don't think he heard you." Please note: John is finishing out our shower now so I will gladly wait at Lowe's while he buys supplies. Well, as gladly as you can with four kids in the car, two questioning, one screaming about the dvd of choice, and the baby crying for supper. I give Abigail her bottle, John comes out during this so I load up and sit (very uncomfortably) in between two captains chairs and start on the rest of our journey to Mams and Pops' house. Until, John turns the key in the ignition and the van will not start. And chaos sets in... Apparently, watching a dvd with two players, doors opening and closing, charging a cell-phone and/or a kindle-fire at one time will drain a battery. Just in case you didn't know.
After John and I exchange a few looks and what are we going to do now we reassure the kids (mainly Ethan) that we are not stuck here forever. John gets out and starts questioning people in the parking lot for jumper cables, which are ALWAYS in the other vehicle. Or, for the guy wearing nothing but Tennessee gear and John wearing nothing but UK gear (yes we were going to watch the game) he wasn't all about some neighborly help. As John runs into Lowe's to find either the battery charger or jumper cables this is the discussion in the van:
Ethan: Mom, what are we going to do?
Me: Wait on Dad, we will get it fixed.
Ethan: Mom, what are we going to do?
Ethan: What are we going to do Mom?
Ethan: Mom, what are we going to do?
Ethan: Mom, what are we going to do?
Ethan: Mom, what are we going to do?
Ethan: What are we going to do Mom?
Ethan: What are we going to do Mom?
Ethan: Mom, did you call Mams and Pops? Are they coming to get us?
Me: No, I text them. We will get someone here to jump us off.
I stopped counting that question after 6 times repeatedly. Then, the natives get restless and get out of their seats.
Caleb: OWWWWWW!!!! He just hit me!!!!!!
Ethan: Mom, are we going to live here?
Linley: I want out!!!!!!
Abigail: WAAAAA!!!
Ethan: Do you know how long people can live without food?
Me: 40 days.
Ethan: We are not Jesus. Only 1-2 days.
Me: apparently you didn't see Unbroken.
Caleb: We're all going to die. Mom, are we going to die?
Me: We're not going to die. It's the battery. Just wait on Dad.
Caleb: We're going to die and go to hell.
Ethan: We're not going to hell we're going to Heaven.
Me: What are we talking about?
Linley: I want out!!!!!
Abigail: WAAAA!!!!!
Caleb: OWWW! He just hit me!!!
Okay, so that new purchase from Wal-Mart is seriously fixing to be in the dumpster if they cannot figure out that a double light-saber does NOT need to be practiced in the van.
John comes back out of Lowe's with jumper cables and he flags down a good Samaritan worker coming in off their lunch break who brings his car over. During this time, I have tried to start this van at least one hundred times.
Ethan: Mom, this is the end. This is it for the Cole Family.
Me: Ethan, McDonalds is right behind us. We can walk there.
Ethan: Yeah, and we can drive to the hotel.
Me: Hellloooo, no van working.
Ethan: Oh yeah.
Caleb is now in the back singing to Abigail trying to get her to be quiet.
And then it happens.... it starts!!! Cheers erupt in the van!!
Ethan: YAAAYYYY!!! We're saved!!!! Can we go eat now? Have Mams and Pops eaten yet?
We finally make it to Mams and Pops' house, watch the game, watch Ethan and Caleb practice their Star Wars moves with their double light-sabers and hit themselves on the back of their head repeatedly (definitely going to have to be working on that hand-eye coordination thing with this toy), get through swimming in their pool (aka Mams' tub), and come back home.
Holy cow. What an interesting evening.
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