Farm life

Well, it has been a while since I have blogged so I'm going to just update a few things:
1. This fall we raised and slaughtered our own chickens.  The boys were present for this affair however were not very involved. Caleb couldn't handle the smell and therefore stayed far away except when John de-feathered the chickens (John is an engineer, a practical one and he built a chicken plucker that you put the chicken in like a washing machine and all the feathers come off, of course after it's dead.)  The boys were pretty intrigued in this so they always came around to watch the chicken in the "washing machine".  Since we homeschool, I figured might as well add some biology to the mix so Ethan got a couple lessons on anatomy that day.  Example:  Ethan was using a very long plastic baseball bat hitting the "guts" of the chickens.
Me: Ethan, please don't hit the intestines with the baseball bat.
Ethan: Intestines? What's the intestines?
Me: It's this long stringy part that you are hitting. It absorbs the nutrients in the chicken and makes it into waste: poop.
Ethan: This makes the poop?
Me: Yes, please don't hit it with the bat.
That was an interesting day.

2. We castrated our bull calf the other day.
Ethan: What does castrate mean?
John: We have to get rid of his balls.
Ethan: Why?
Me: Your meat won't taste very good later on when we eat him.
Ethan: Is it going to hurt?
Me: It's not going to feel good.
Ethan: So, it's going to hurt?
Me: Well, kind of.
Ethan and Caleb: What are the balls?
John explains the location. We are now inside the barn. Caleb then grabs his man-parts and stays far away from everything going on. Oh, bless it.

3. We are expecting Baby #4.  The kids are more than excited. Caleb wants to call the baby Pooter. No, Caleb, we can't call the baby Pooter.

4.  We went on vacation to Gatlinburg a few weeks ago.  A couple interesting happenings:
       -We went to Dixie Stampede.  While John was buying the tickets Caleb and LC both fell asleep. Ethan had an emergency and really needed to go to the bathroom.  I can't wake everyone up, or leave the sleeping two, or let him go by himself: he has to wait.  Something goes on in the back: Let's just say, a man parks directly beside our van, gets out, sees what is going on in the van, looks at me, shakes his head and laughs.  I didn't turn around and watch the entire scene.
        - At Dixie Stampede you do not use utensils.  My children, even though they get dirty very often, are perfectionists. And getting their hands dirty on the food was not their idea of a fun time.  Ethan eventually talked our waitress into bringing him a plastic set because he couldn't eat his corn on the cob because he is missing his two front teeth.  Seriously?
        -We thought it would be great to go and visit a wonderful pancake house John and I went to a long time ago.  We should have just thrown everyone into a freezing shower and given them a bath.  It would have been less painful.  Linley Claire was in such a bad mood at that point that one lady made the observation to me in the bathroom: Poor thing, she's just not happy this morning is she?
       YOU THINK? WHAT EVER GAVE YOU THAT IMPRESSION?
      Was it:
       A: the throwing of the silverware.
      B: The throwing of one of my blueberry pancakes?  or
      C: The constant screaming?  My answer:
      D- ALL OF THE ABOVE.
        Oh, and that was just LC. Caleb had a meltdown that he wanted OJ instead of apple juice. We get him oj, he doesn't like it and then meltdown because he doesn't have apple juice.  Oh for the love.  Caleb rips his napkin: He tells me I have to put it back together.  In what world?
      -We all slept in one room, which actually worked quite well. Except that Caleb is an early riser...and wants everyone else to be as well.  He would get out of his bed (next to the bathroom), walk all the way over to my side of the opposite bed (next to LC) and inform me had had to go to the bathroom.  At 6:30 in the morning.  Yes, I am very thankful he didn't pee in the bed.
   
 5. Christmas was an awesome time this year.  We had Jesus' birthday party.   Opened presents, and went to many family get-togethers.  We are so blessed.

Note:  I usually only blog about the craziness and sometimes negative things in our life. It's not always like this.  Yes, these crazy times are what make us laugh, and remind us that we are so blessed that we have a loving, healthy family.  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Oops, that button does what?

Here are just a few things of daily happenings:

Caleb is now pooping in the potty.  Discussing a toy with Ethan, Caleb informed Ethan he had  to poop in the potty to get some more money to have enough for the toy. Ethan then questions me as to why he doesn't get paid to poop in the potty.  Now, Caleb is cut off.

We are a homeschooling family.  Ethan and Caleb's Bible lately has been on Abram and Lot-learning about the importance of being kind and unselfish.  We've even discussed how hard it is to be kind and unselfish when everyone else around is looking out only for themselves.   Tonight we had an interesting discussion right before bed.  The boys are racing to the toilet to go to the bathroom before bed.  Ethan, being the oldest, always wins.  So, now, at the toilet, the boys are having a knock-down-drag-out over who is going to pee first.  At this point I just close my eyes and shake my head.  Then begins our Bible lesson.

Boys, what did we learn about in Bible this morning and all week? About being UNSELFISH.
Ethan, could you be unselfish and let Caleb pee before you?  Hallelujah, Ethan lets him start first.  Really? You never know when you can apply Scripture to daily life folks.

Last week we were at a friends house...playing Wii...mario cart.  Ethan and Caleb are battling it out and of course Caleb is having trouble with it;we don't have a Wii so he never gets to play.  Then, he throws the remote down and refuses to be nice.  Enter our buddy, his  turn, well now Caleb goes off the deep end because apparently he didn't want anyone to take his remote.  We exit the fun and have a heart-to-heart, that lasts for about 15 minutes.  Then, we leave the bathroom to go rejoin the fun.  And Caleb says in exasperation: WHY DOES EVERBODY HAVE TO BEAT ME?????????  As he bites the dust and hits the floor.  Oh bless him.  Needless to say, they are NOT getting a Wii for Christmas, just sayin.

John is playing basketball with friends on Tuesdays on campus.  We were able to go tonight and walk on the track above it.  After an hour they are starting to drop like flies so we head down to the court to tell John good bye.  As we do, they spot a basketball not being used.  And so it begins,  except you would think it would be Ethan and Caleb fighting. No, not this time, it is ALL THREE. Linley Claire wants in on the action.  The boys take it away, she falls apart and ends up laying on the court every 15 seconds. Caleb takes it from her, she screams, Ethan gets it and gives it back, Caleb tries to talk LInley into giving it to him, Linley wants nothing to do with that, she's running around with a ball that is half her size trying to pass it to Ethan. He gets it then he wants to shoot it the whole time.  Finally, we leave the court as John is running up and down, Linley screaming at the top of her lungs holding her arms open "DADDDDYYYYY!!!" Caleb and Ethan mad because we left.    We get back into the elevator, have a jam session to my radio on my phone, and head into the parking lot.  I'm lifting Linley up the steps and the boys are waiting on my a few feet away.  next thing I hear:

  YOU HAVE JUST CALLED SECURITY. THE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY. PLEASE PUSH THE RED BUTTON TO SPEAK.  ALERT. YOU HAVE JUST CALLED SECURITY.

Are you kidding me?  The boys, while waiting on me, pushed the security button on the Security Pole and now the police are on their way.  I run up, trying to find that red button (just to let you know, it's silver, not red) to tell them it's a false alarm.  Ethan and caleb have now frozen because they have no idea about that thing, I'm pushing every button on the pole screaming "Hello???  We don't need the police!! It was just my kids!"  After finally getting the button thing worked out and apologizing profusely we had a lesson about what those things really are and why they are there.    Guess I should have done that earlier huh?

It's always fun and never dull.  Thank You Lord, for our blessings.

Another day with the Cole's

Just everyday happenings:

Yesterday we had steaks for dinner.  Our homegrown beef from our farm.

Caleb, laughingly to himself, "I'm eating Spot's peepee.hhehehehehehe"
Me: No you are not eating his peepee. We don't talk about that at the table.
Ethan: What did they do with his peepee?
John: They threw it away.
Ethan: How did they get it off? Did they shoot him or use a knife?
John: They killed him and then took off his hide.  We don't eat peepee's.

Monday: Ethan had one tooth hanging in there in the front after Caleb knocked out the other.  Picture Nanny McPhee here.  Friends were over playing and jumping on the trampoline. All of a sudden they all 5 walk in, Ethan with his head down.

Me: Ethan-where's your tooth?
Ethan: It fell out.  I swallowed it.
Yuck.  We wrote a letter to the Tooth Fairy explaining what happened. He still got his money.

Yesterday: Caleb's preschool included a discussion about our home in Heaven one day.  A mansion. Deep discussion on what we will look like.  Will we be kids or adults?  What kind of food there?  Will there be toys? What kind of toys?

Ethan: I'm ready to die.
Me: Really? Why?
Ethan: I'm ready to go to Heaven and see Jesus.
Well said Ethan.

Today at the optometrist Ethan had his first eye exam.  He is sitting in John's lap getting his pictures of his eyes then waits with John while I'm getting mine done.

Ethan: Shew.  Dad. Your breath stinks.

Few minutes later, Ethan talking to our eye doctor:
Ethan:" you know, I had to switch my underwear and wear my brothers."
Optometrist: Really?
Ethan: Yes, and then I had to get some out of the dirty clothes hamper the other day.
Optometrist: Wow.
Ethan: you know, the other day Caleb put his underwear on my head.  ...You know, I wanted to run away today.  I don't like being in timeout.

Seriously?  This is the FIRST time he has ever mentioned anything about running away and now he tells our optometrist? Underwear?  Breath stinking?

I'm blind since I don't have my contacts in but one can only imagine what facial expressions are on his face during this dialogue.

Caleb decided to poop in the potty this morning. Let's just say it wouldn't qualify for 2 dollars so I told him to finish up later in there.  Not 45 minutes later...finished pooping...the whole shebang...in his underwear...down his leg...on his foot...on the floor in the bathroom.

And you wonder why I'm praying for fruits of the Spirit this morning during homeschool?

It went flying

Today, it literally just went flying.

We made it to dinner tonight.  Our favorite Mexican restaurant and Linley screamed basically the entire time.  She emptied the sweeteners, salted her chips numerous times, and basically did a toddler fit.  After John and I took our turns taking her out it was time to leave. The boys helped clean up all the sweeteners off the floor and so earned a quarter for the sucker at the end of the meal.  Excited and joyful are two words to describe them. As we are waiting in line to pay, they are so happy that they are just swinging their arms around chatting about their suckers they are fixing to get.

Slow motion begins: Caleb swings his arm, pops Ethan in the mouth with his fist, something goes flying, Ethan grabs his mouth, my face has  a look of utter terror.  Now, in the floor of the Mexican restaurant is Ethan's front tooth.  I look at Ethan, "Is that your tooth on the floor?"  Seriously, I thought the college kid in front of us was fixing to flip out.  Ethan, just stands there holding his mouth.  He has to get that tooth off the floor, quick.  "Ethan, pick up your tooth off the floor."
 I turn to Caleb: "Caleb, you just knocked Ethan's tooth out!" Starting in on my lecture how we're not to hit one another.
 Caleb responds as only Caleb would:  Both arms go up in the air and he shouts "YES!!!"  Um, not the reaction I was looking for.
The college kid in front of me nearly hit the floor laughing on that one.
"Caleb, tell Ethan you are sorry for hitting him in the mouth."
Caleb offers a quick sorry and now I am holding the tooth in my hand trying to pay for dinner as the boys rush out to the van to tell John what all happened.

Now, Ethan is the snaggle-toothed boy.  And it's adorable.

We had an evening of fun by then hitting the volleyball game and it was great.  When we get home, Caleb informs me: Mom, I hit Ethan's tooth out so he would buy us a .... I don't even remember what it was. But, since he thinks he played such an integral role in getting Ethan's tooth out that Ethan should use his tooth fairy money and buy THEM a toy.  I don't know how that will fly.

007

Today, I was 007.

Our neighbor's dog came and visited today.  You know, the one who peed on Ethan's shoes while he was wearing them?  He is innocent enough and I like him...until he takes off down the road with Ethan's boot.  Then he comes back, and robs my corn from the fall scene.  Oh no you didn't.

So, like any person, I have to go get it.  Enter 007.  I, dressed in 007 attire: bright orange running shirt, workout pants, and garden shoes, stealthily make my way down the road, pushing a toddler, in a winnie the pooh stroller.  The dog sees me...quick I have to hide before I am licked to death.  I, picking up speed, run into the neighbors driveway and try to be polite. 007 has manners.  I knock on the door and no answer. So, like any 007, I scope out the yard, pushing my 20-month old, in a stroller,with a dog following me.  I did find some evidence: the corn was chewed up and shredded all over their yard (I'm sure my neighbor really appreciated that consider his yard is immaculate), a chewed up football that I didn't know we were missing...but no boot.  I stop and have to dart inside the garage to the dog's kennel and see if the boot is hiding in there.  No.  However, while doing this, my partner in crime has now gotten out of the stroller and is walking around trying to play with the neighbor's grandkids' toys.  Smooth, trying to play it off like we were there to play.  007 in training.  Despite her best protesting, I quickly put Linley back in the stroller and head back to our house. With no corn, and no boot.  Oh Harvey, until we meet again.

Today, as normal, I felt like a preacher, on self-control and using kind words. Ugh.

Ethan, responding to Caleb using up all the legos for ship, decides he is going to build a "Ship that is BETTER than yours!"
Caleb to me: Ethan is being shellfish.
Shellfish?  I think we need a little more lessons here.

 Repeat scenario again: Ethan annoying Caleb. Caleb defending his position with a toy in a hand and a threat to throw it.  I enter into the scene.

Me: Caleb, you cannot control him but you can control yourself.  We do NOT throw our toys no matter what your brother does.
Caleb: putting toy down, MOM!  Ethan is talking to me being mean.
Me: Pointing finger at the point-I will talk to Ethan.
Me: turning to Ethan: You are not being kind.  We are to build each other up with our words not tear each other down.  You are saying words that are not kind and not building him up.
Ethan: I'm not going to build him up or tear him down.  I'm going to put him in the middle. I'm going to put him in a dungeon.

Great, what do you say to that? At that point my sermon was over and it's time for bed.

Happenings lately

We've been having thoughts of things going on around here and I have attempted to blog about it. But, that was something in itself.

In the past 3 weeks we have been going through a lot of technology.  Linley Claire dropped our laptop. Several times. Banged on it.  And then it quit working. Shocker I know.  So, we have to get a new computer. One that is refurbished.  We had several issues with it so had to get it worked on...twice.  Then, one week later, John was on a work trip.  I'm cleaning up the kitchen, and then I hear-WHOOSH!!!  I turn around, and to my dismay Linley is standing on a chair and pouring water in different cups and it soaks the NEW computer!!  Flip out mode. But, praise the Lord it ends up working fine.  I was in the middle of a blog post when all this was going on.

Ethan and I went on our first bike ride together.  We went a little over two miles.  The first mile was great.  The was back, iffy.  We had to stop several times, sit underneath a tree for a few minutes, push our bikes up some hills.  But, it was great fun.  We get back and I'm talking to John and what does he see?  Bird poop...in. my. hair.   Please tell me how this happens.

We get back from running errands or something like that and our neighbors' dog comes to greet us. We really like the dog.  However, he likes to make his territory. This time he marks his territory on Ethan's shoes. While he is wearing them.  Seriously? That pair of shoes had to be thrown away.

Caleb has started playing soccer now. Sweetest thing.  He actually will go and do it, but the last weekends' game didn't go too hot.  Caleb comes to me after about 40 minutes, starts stripping off his shoes, socks, shin-guards.  They were hurting him.  Um, hello?  You have twenty minutes left of soccer.  During this time, Ethan takes a drink of Caleb's Gatorade. Apparently that was not according to Caleb's approval so while I'm trying to convince him to go finish the game Caleb literally whams Ethan on the face.  Seriously?  So, we didn't finish the game, and we had our own "timeout" in the van if you get my drift.

Ethan has lost another tooth.  They just keep coming.

Last week, our mailbox was stolen.  This apparently made a huge impact on Ethan.  During Children's Church that morning he prayed for the people who did it, that they wouldn't sin anymore. Well, they were caught and here's to hoping they learned their lesson. Answered prayer there.

I went on a trip with some dear friends this weekend. It truly was amazing.  We had so much fun, slept little, laughed alot, lost our voices, and ate well. We also learned so much about our Savior and training up our kids.  However, while we are away for that time, at our house this happened: Caleb threw up, Ethan almost had a sympathy hurl, one shin-guard and one sock were still in the van with me in Chattanooga while there was a game here.  Needless to say,  it was a memorable weekend for everyone.

The boys got in their halloween costumes today. I'm cooking pancakes and what happens? I'm literally bombarded with nerf gun bullets.  One whizzed by my head. Rule at the Cole house: you are NOT allowed to hit anyone in the head with a bullet.

Today at the lunch table, the boys start to leave the table.  "Caleb, take your plate to the kitchen." Caleb: "I'm not Caleb, I'm bounty hunter Caleb." Pardon me, my mistake.

Goodnight all.

It's a New Day

Yes, I believe the day has finally arrived...Caleb is pooping in the potty! At a whopping 4 years old!!  For crying out loud, it's finally here.  

Of course, this journey has been long coming.  The 2 years or so of trying have not been without incident.  I have recorded several of them in here, but here is another to add to the list.  Caleb has a distended bowel, I have no idea if I spelled that correctly or not.  Whatever it is, it's in his large intestines therefore our pediatrician informed me that until that got sorted out I should just forget potty training.  So, we've been working on that since May and have finally got that worked out.  Now, he actually knows when he has to use the bathroom. Last week, we were outside playing and he had started using the potty a couple of times.  But, since we were outside he didn't want to take the time to go in. So, what does the child do?  Goes into the garage, pulls down his pants and undies, and poops in the garage floor in the corner.  Seriously?  Why can't he just use the grass like a dog?  At this point, he runs in, informs me of the mishap not that I cannot see it since he's now running into the house sans pants and underwear.  John then comes running in with Linley Claire, she was playing outside, walked into the garage, stepped in the poop, tried to get it off her feet with her hands, and now she has poop on her.  Are you kidding me? I mean seriously?  Oh yeah, failed to mention we were leaving in about 10 minutes to go somewhere.

Mention here: My mom now says that we are going to have to start borrowing money from Caleb. She has given him a dollar everytime he poops in the potty and is giving our inheritance away. I, for one, think it is well worth it.

Yesterday Caleb has pooped in the potty before we go to Homeschool Playgroup at the park.  We are pulling up and Caleb then starts a discussion:
Caleb: Mom, I scratched my butt and now my fingers smell like poop.
Me: Caleb, I wiped you very good, I know you don't have poop on you.
And so goes the discussion downhill from there.  We pull up to the park, and what does the child do? Grab the wipes, pull down his pants and start wiping his tail in the van.  Then:
MOM!! SEE I TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T WIPE GOOD!!
As he proceeds to show me the wipe.  Now, I think I could have gone all day without that discussion and visual.  If you know me you know my germaphobia, so I grab the trashbag, have him put the wipe in it, then squirt half a bottle of hand sanitizer on him, which he then wipes on the passenger seat.  Mind you, this is the same boy who for a year and a half now has pooped in his underwear and now he can't stand for anything to be on is bottom.  
So, then we play at the park and the boys start getting to that point, you know, when a meltdown is coming up soon.  So, it's burning up and they start whining. I tell them to go grab the water out of the van.  *Note, in school this week we have been talking about the character trait of thoughtfulness and also about firefighters so we made brownies to take to the firemen after the park.  Ethan returns from the van,
Ethan: Mom. Caleb stepped in the brownies.
Me: What?
Ethan: He stepped in the brownies.
Now may I say here that I am surrounded by about 10 other moms and children running everywhere plus I am pushing LC in the swing.
Me: Okay. We'll deal with it.
Inwardly, I am screaming but then I think to myself: Well, there's nothing we can do about it now. So, Caleb returns and I ask him:
Caleb, did you step in the brownies?
Caleb: Yes, I actually did it, (Which means accidentally).
Now, I'm thinking to myself, how can you accidentally step in a 9X13 pan of brownies that have a humongous red lid on top that are also sitting in the passenger seat?  Still baffled by that one.
Meltdown is in full swing so we leave and make a pit stop by the church, where we fuel up on water and a knife to to fix the brownies, luckily he just smooshed the icing on top of pan.  We deliver the brownies, and make it home which is only by the hand of God.

Today has been an extremely hot day. So, we end up outside and what do the kids want to do? Play on the trampoline, naked, with me spraying the waterhose at them.  And you know what? I don't mind doing it one bit.  They giggle and laugh and I spray them with the waterhose.  Of course, who pulls up but the mail man and my mom.  No telling what is going through that mailman's head. I know our usual mail lady, whom we go to church with, says that if she ever is going to see naked kids it's always at our house.

Caleb poops in the potty, mind you he ran inside since we were outside.  I wipe him and I'm so happy about it.  After dinner we are riding bikes and Caleb starts following me.  And now our discussion begins again:
Caleb: Mom, I scratched my butt and it smells like poop.
Me: Caleb, poop comes out of your bottom.  That's why it smells like poop.
Caleb: Nuhuh. Mom, you didn't wipe me good.
Me: Caleb I wiped you with a wipe. Yes I did.
Caleb: Nuhuh.  I'm right and you're wrong you didn't wipe me good.
Me: Get on the trampoline, I'm fixing to spray you again with the waterhose.

Yes, we ended the day with a good jump on the trampoline and water hose.