El Matador

No. I don't know spanish. My extent is Tow-Mater and El Materdor. Oh yeah, that and Burrito tipico with rice.

Last Friday we were fixing to head to my twin sister's house for my niece's birthday.  John was taking a half-day at work, I needed to run, shower, devotional, we had school to do, finish packing, load the van, tend the animals, pick up the house (my own personal goal), eat, and be loaded by the time he gets home.  What a morning.

School was fairly trying considering the fact at 7:30 Ethan was already asking if it was time for lunch yet so we could go ahead and leave.  Get that finally finished (like pulling teeth that day), get Linley packed up, me packed, boys are already packed, oven turned on preheating for pizza and it's time to go outside to tend to the animals and load the van. 

Then it happens: MOM!! The bull is in the yard!!! 

No way. That cannot happen today.  He must be confused. 

I look outside, and to my dismay not only is the bull in the yard, but joining him are the goat and the calf.   We are due to leave in one hour, pajamas still on, van not loaded, children not fed. Oh dear.

Out we go, luckily I decide to put on my good running shoes...I was going to need it.
So, mental picture here: 6 year old in boots, 3 year old in flip flops, me in pink fleece pajama pants and pink UK shirt and running shoes, Linley ready to go.  Boys running everywhere trying to herd the cows and goat, and then comes our lovely D O G.  Yes, he is a border collie.  He was the last pick of the litter.  Yes, he is smart but he is stubborn and does not do what normal border collies do. He harrasses the animals.   So, I have that dadgum dog running around nipping at that bulls' hooves while we are trying to get him back in the pen.  Get the goat in.  Not bad.  Get the steer in, not horrible, I could so take him he's not that big.  But then, flash in to El Matador.  The bull and I size each other over. Yes, he could so take me.  However, he does not know that.  The screaming crowd are three children then  abandoned by one to jump on the trampoline.   Instead of a red cape I have my pink UK shirt and pink fleece pjs.  Yes, if we only had a video of this.   Let the sprinting begin.  Now picture, me, baby on my hip, stick as tall as John, 700 lb bull sprinting around the yard and me yelling at the top of my lungs...."GOOOOO!!!"   We're in the front yard, then the side yard, then I think he's heading to the fields, then he's heading to our garden, and then back to the chickens, then prancing around the trampoline.  Mercy, I'm sweating and exhausted. Luckily, Ethan is a good herder.  I get the bull heading back to the gate, Ethan runs ahead and opens the gate, Linley, stick, and I  get him corralled into the fence.  Ethan slams the gate.  Yes, VICTORY!!!  I should have taken a bow after that scene. If only I had a cape. My good running shoes will never be the same. The cow pooped in the yard.  Poor shoes.

I got everything done before John got home except for the fact that the kids were not all in their seats.  Caleb was of course.  Then Ethan and Linley.   Now we're off to Lexington. We get halfway to Lexington and the kids are ready for a stop, we pull over at a gas station, get everyone out, and wait a minute. Caleb, where are your shoes?  What? You don't have any shoes? Since he hung out in the van while I was getting everyone else in there he omitted his shoes (which is so normal for him because everytime the child has to wear shoes it is a meltdown).  Luckily, I grabbed a pair of nice brown shoes for him before we locked the door.  So, the only pair of shoes that child has on the trip is brown dress shoes.  Yeah, let's just say we had a meltdown everytime we had to wear shoes this weekend. 

We get to Betsy's house and "let the wild rumpous begin!" as Maurice Zendak would say.  Whenever we put our kids together, it's usually a breeze, really it is. They entertain themselves. But, the thing is, you NEVER know what they are going to do.  Move to:  Fashion Show. 

Katie Beth comes downstairs and informs us they are putting on a fashion show. Oh dear.  Katie Beth wearing her fine Christmas gown mc's for us.  First down the runway is Ethan, wearing a lovely red Christmas dress with red and green tulle for a skirt and a Christmas tree of tulle on top.  Next, we have Caleb, wearing a hot pink number and skin tight pants.  Then, Annalee comes in wearing gray workout pants and a t-shirt.  Yes, the boys put on the girls clothes and Annalee put on Caleb's.  Another show: Ethan, sprinting through the show wearing nothing but underwer. And Annalee sprinting, wearing undwear.  Oh dear.  Here comes the kicker. Caleb, sprinting through the how wearing underwear...ON HIS HEAD!!!  Yes, nothing else   "PUT ON YOUR CLOTHES!!" 

These children keep us on our toes and we are so blessed :)  Sorry, kids. I have to blog about this so one day I will be able to show your spouses and your kids what you did:P I love you!