I don't make this up.

Yes, this really happened. No, I did not make it up.

Brief synopsis of our day before the mayhem: Ran, started stairclimbing, kids up at 6:45, fed everyone, played, finished stairclimbing, gardened, tended to animals (farm animals not my kids here), went to Murray and swam with my sister, niece, and nephew, burnt to a crisp (don't call me Tori, call me Tortilla, as in crispy Tortilla), cleaned up house so it didn't look like a tornado had been through, started supper.

Setting: One baby in the crib, one 5 year old on a couch, and one 3 year old ran outside. Mom running around the house.

Ethan is trying to recuperate from a long day swimming, Caleb of course now has energy to go on for hours, and Linley is asleep. I'm on the phone with my twin sister and what do I see? Caleb, entering the house, with black marks all over his entire body, except for his face (thank goodness). Hands, arms, palm of his hands, fingernails, ankles, tops of feet, shirt. What in the world? Oh, I know. He found the KING SIZE BLACK PERMANENT MARKER outside where I had taken it out of the van. Who needs canvas people? Use yourself for body art. Then, here it comes, "Mom, I pooped!" Seriously, so now we have a child covered in black permanent marker with poop in his underwear. I've got to get off with my sister now, after some serious complaining of what I'm fixing to have to do.

Me: "Do not move. Go to the bathroom, and stay there. The wipes are out in the van." Yes, I left them there from our swimming field trip today and I was NOT about to go in Linley's room to get the others and wake her up.

I run outside to the van, grab the wipes, turn around, and now on the top steps of the porch is my partially naked 3 year old, marker and all, with pants off and poop stuck to his rear. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Back to the bathroom we go. But wait, what is that I kicked...in the hall? Oh yes, piece of poop. (I'm sighing as I'm writing this piece). Start to clean the boy up and the next conversation is the kicker.

Caleb:"I want my prize!" In a very whiney voice.
Me: "Prize? For what?"
Caleb:"For pooping."
Huh? Did I miss something? I think we all know that the child can poop. It is the location of the poop that I am more concerned with at this point.
Me:"You don't get a prize for pooping. You get a prize for pooping IN THE POTTY!"
Caleb:"NOOOOOOO!!! I WANT MY PRIZE!!!!!!!!!" Hear whining.
Me: "No Caleb. You poop in the potty to get a prize, not in your UNDERWEAR!!!"

And so the whining continues as does the discussion of why we have prizes in the first place for bowel movements. Side note here: Yesterday John caught him pooping in his underwear so he got him on the potty and in a round about way he did poop on the potty. To which I jumped up and down and he yelled:"No HAPPY!" I seriously do not think he wants to part with his poop.

Get Caleb cleaned up, no prize, and Linley is awake, dinner needs to be finished, John is home, and the boys have found the Cars tattoos...

At this point I must make two notes:
1.  Caleb is the object of a lot of my blogs.  This age that he is at is always entertaining and busy, Ethan was just like this, yes, poop and all.  I am so thankful for him, and all our children because they keep my life interesting, fun, and never dull.
2.  I am so glad I borrowed my sister's Bissell shampoo vaccuum today. God knew I would put it to good use.

Boys vs Girls

Well, the past couple weeks have been crazy.  Our grandmother passed away so it has been a very sad time for our family. But, during this time we were also blessed just because as a family we were able to come together and celebrate her life and enjoy being together.  So, we were able to hang out with my two neices for about a week, they are 6 and 3. So we had a 6, 5, 3, 3, and 6 month old for a few days. Hilarious is pretty much descriptive of our time. Here are a few examples along with just a few things have happened at our house since.

Caleb and Annalee are going at it in the pool (these are the two 3 year olds and second borns-Betsy and I have a few theories on second borns :P) They are using the noodles as weapons.  After Betsy and I about make our throats sore from, "Be kind to each other" We finally just let them go at it.  The difference between boys and girls: Annalee did cry and Caleb screamed "SORRY!" in not the nicest of tones.

We are at our parents' house and the kids are in the living room playing. Ethan runs in the room, bends over, grabs his rear end, and begins making loud pooting noises to no one in particular.  Seriously?  Of course, Betsy and I bust out laughing and he is confused as to why we are laughing.


Now, to just a few things that happened at our house lately:

It is the sweetest thing ever to hear Ethan and Caleb pretend playing cars and Katie Beth and Annalee are in the other cars.

Linley had  a dirty diaper so I tied it up in a Wal-Mart sack. Before heading to church to work on some stuff I actually caught myself saying, "BOYS!! DO NOT THROW THE DIRTY DIAPER AT EACH OTHER!!"  Yes, the dirty diaper was thrown everywhere in our house, much to Linley's entertainment. 

Yesterday, I looked out the window and my mouth dropped to the ground.  John is playing with the boys in the pool. They are being launched like airplanes.  Do I see screaming and crying? No, they are going as fast as they possibly can getting back to John saying, "higher, HIGHER!"

I'm giving the boys a bath.  Then comes the discussion on male anatomy.  What are these? Why are they round? What are they called? What are they for? Do you have them? Does sister?  Oh I wish Dad were in here to hear this one!

Today, the boys decided that Thomas the Train needed to fall in a pond. Of course, I say sure. I mean why not, Thomas needs a bath now and then.  My rule is that the water has to be on the hardwood. So, after a couple scares of water being dropped all over the floor, Thomas makes it in the pond.  Then, Ethan decides that Caleb shouldn't put one of his train cars in the water, too late, so Ethan snatches it out. Caleb of course screams at him and then proceeds to dump the entire "Pond" in the floor.  After an almost time out I decide that the "Punishment must fit the crime" (Yes, we love Parent Trap) so all of the towels are put to good use. 

Then, we get busy playing basketball. Before the game begins I walk into their room and I see Caleb STANDING on top of the dresser.  (Just a picture: this is a 5 drawer dresser with no mirror.) Why? You may ask. Well, I asked the same question...I get the look, duh mom. Then an explanation that Caleb has to be able to hit the basketball goal.  My next step, Caleb get off of the dresser. Of course, I thought he would climb down the same way he got up there. Oh no, not Caleb, daredevil jumped off the top of the dresser.  I ran in the room and he's rubbing his head.  Are you serious?  Are you okay? Yeah Mom. 

Then, it's time for a wrestling match.  I'm telling you, I may be bruised for weeks after this. But, apparently it was a big hit, literally.  To be on even ground I have to play on my knees and they get to run at me and try their hardest to tackle me. Yes, it was fun, they had a blast.  Scared me to death when one would jump off the bed and try to tack me in the air and the other would run at me from the other side of the room.

John comes home and the boys are talking about their pants being wet. Naturally, John wants to know why.
Me: Thomas took a dip in the pond.
John: On the hardwood.
Me: Yes.
John: Do you think that was the best idea?
Me: Definitely, the floors needed mopping.
John: Oh. What did you mop them with?
Me: The towels on the floor. 

I thought my logic was spot on. At least the floors got scrubbed today :)

About time

Yes, so I am a couple days behind, but time has been busy this week. Here are the highlights from the past couple days.

Yesterday morning Linley is up at 5:30 for a bottle then John and I head outside to shuck corn.  Yes, at 5:45 in the morning we are shucking corn. Our cows and goat were happy.  Then, John thinks he hears one of the kids. I go check and sure enough, Caleb is sitting in the hallway at 6:15 crying.  He wants warm milk.  Early morning. 

Later,  I'm doing prayer time in the my room with Ethan snuggling on the bed.  We hear the door open and close. Ethan: "I think Caleb just went outside."  Yes, he has to have his morning bathroom break outside off the backporch.  20 seconds later here comes Caleb down the hall. "MOM!!" Then Caleb walks into my room in his pj's, kind of.  He's got his shirt on but is missing something. His pajama shorts, he has fashioned them as a new hat on his head.  Very trendy. 

Trip to Radio Shack.  Man, I'm proud of my boys, they're walking around the store just staring in amazement while the owner is busy with another customer and I'm waiting.  It's my turn.  Then, I hear a loud crash.  Pride shot down along with two 32" flat screen tv's that Ethan accidently backed into. At least they were in boxes.  My nerves now on edge so boys are forced to stand directly behind me during transaction. But wait, there are shelves right there that are just perfect for little boys to step on.  More loud crashes.  At this point the owner looks at them and says:"Those will throw them off." No kidding?  Did he think I was whispering to my kids, "Boys, go jump up and down on those shelves!!"  We can't get out of there fast enough.  Now, a trip across the street to the post office, park, and now Wal-Mart.  I forgot my Lysol. Ugh.  So, load the trio up, Linley strapped to me in my knock-off Moby wrap, Caleb in the front of the buggee and then Ethan in the basket.  We walk in and what do we always do first? Clean the buggee.  So, I pass out wipes and the boys are responsible for scrubbing down their part of the buggee.  Man, they scrubbed well. Then, trash those and out comes the handsanitizer.  The boys want to eat chicken nuggets while we shop so we have to clean them right?  Germaphobe? Yes.  But, the three people sitting at the window at Subway in Wal-Mart were having a good laugh at this crazy Mom.  So pumped, I didn't have to plank with LInley attached to me in the aisle at Wal-mart. 

Back at home, the boys are at each others' throats and I've had enough. off to time-out they go.  Door slammed.  OH well, at least it's quiet on my end of the house. Then the house begins to shake. Mental note: boys need separate rooms for timeout. It's more of playtime without Mom in the room.  The dresser was cleaned off, everything was in the floor. The basketball goal was turned over in the floor. At least the dresser wasn't emptied. 

VBS every night this week at church. 

Cut off all the corn while the kids had rest time and Linley napped.
At 9:30 I begin boxing all the corn-ended up with 61 quarts at 10:30 p.m. The house smelled good:)

This morning, the boys are going to play at Mammy's. They want to spend the night. BUt wait, you can't, we have VBS again. Then Caleb's fit begins.  He no go to church!!!!  Yes, you know you've been spending a lot of time at church when your kid doesn't want to go to VBS due to the fact that we have lived there the past week getting ready.  Side note-he didn't stay in his class tonight, ended up with Dad and the big kids. Oh well.  At least he made it. 

Spent the majority of the night with Linley strapped to me.  What a workout. At the end of the night I keep smelling something, Man, those kids are stinking.  I get home, wait, that's not the kids. It was me. Busy night.  VBS is a blast, I love it and I think my kids do too!! Just an overview of out week this week.  Never a dull moment!

Lately

It's been a while since I've been able to blog. Mostly because exhaustion usually sets in before I get to do this at 9:30 at night. John says I'm always tired, I agree.

The poop saga continues. Yesterday I had all three kids pooping by 11. I think, "Yay. At least we're already done with this." No such luck. Caleb, of course, poops in his underwear several times. I don't think much about it when I see Ethan with some baby powder on him. He is five, he likes to take care of himself. But then, Caleb has some on him. Okay, what's up with this? I ask Ethan, his reply:"Caleb did it." "Did what?" Is my next thought. Enter boys' room. A snow hill is what their dresser resembled. I actually didn't blow up but calmly and rationally stated, with not much compassion:"You have to clean every bit of that up with wash cloths now." I turn and walk out, and off they go to gather the cleaning supplies. Linley is in need of something so off I go to deal with her while the boys go to their snow chute to start cleaning. I come back to check on them but there is still white on the dresser. Okay, at this point I'm getting irritated. FInally, I come to the bottom of it. Ethan:"Mom, that's Butt Paste that Caleb painted on it." Oh great. Butt Paste is similar to Desitin but it's just big boy medicine. No, it does not wipe off like powder. Scrub hard and it may come off. Then all of a sudden the boys are cleaning with their wet rags the race track on their wall. Hey, that's fine with me. At least they're cleaning. Note: tonight I still saw some Butt Paste on the dresser and there is still baby powder on the top of it that just didn't get clean. Oh well, at least we know Butt Paste sticks well.

Caleb is now three, as I'm sure you know. 3 is such a wonderful age. Your young child growing stronger, getting taller, becoming more independent, growing more stubborn and less rational as you go. Now, I think Caleb has a guilty conscience since he's not pooping in the potty. Every other word that comes out of that child's mouth has something to do with poop. A word of affection: "Hey Poopey." A word of anger:"POOPOO, DOODOO, PEEPEE." A word of rebellion: "You're poopie Mommy." Whenever he must express himself it always comes out with these words. I think he feels bad that he's not pooping in the potty. Really. I do. Now, though, his fits are not rational yet but they are getting there. He tells me he doesn't want self-control. Really? I think I got that.

Linley is starting to get the hang of it with these boys. THe other day my twin sis was here visiting and we were trying to get all the kids out to the pool. It just didn't happen with Linley, she pooped in her swimmer diaper so I just change her and put her to bed, it's time anyway. It's 105 degrees outside so I just lay her down with a diaper. She sleeps so soundly then it's time for her to get up. Well, she must have gotten bored or just trying to figure things out. We walk into her room to get her and there she is, in all her glory, nude with a diaper lying next to her. Yes, she took it off. The child is only 5 months old. Already? Makes me nervous.

Well, all are asleep and that's where I want to be. Good night.