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Friday, August 8, 2014

Seriously, I cannot make this stuff up.

So, I am behind again and Iwill have to backtrack on all that has happened in the past month and a half with Abigail's arrival. But, I had to write this one down before I forget.

Yesterday I ventured out the entire morning with the whole crew, AKA 4 children, by myself.  Having to deal with a newborn plus a 2 1/2, 5, and 7 year old was actually not that bad.  Church, hearing tests, McDonalds, picking apples,  and then back home.  They were so good at McDonalds that all the senior citizens there kept saying how GOOD my kids were.  Okay, once I literally laughed out loud in a ladies face when she said that because she was specifically talking about the boys.  Now they were being wonderful.  I mean it, I was feeding Abigail in McDonalds and we hung out there for an hour while we got everyone fed including the baby plus refills, multiple ketchup refills,  ketchup spills, loss of shoes.  So, when John went to his meeting last night I should have been prepared......

I was on the computer, literally for maximum 10 minutes trying to get an order in for a party I had online.  I had Abigail in my room supposedly sleeping, which means of course she was not,  two boys in the bathtub.  and Linley Claire snacking on an apple that I had peeled for her.  Then, I hear Linley losing it in the bathroom with the boys.  She comes crying to me and throwing a fit about cleaning her apple.

Me: Linley, your apple is fine.
Linley: NOOOOO CLEAN MY APPLE!!!

And 2 year old temper tantrum begins including throwing things in the floor.  I have to straighten her out and she finally settles down in my lap while I'm finishing up my order.  The boys come in.

Me: What in the world was Linley so upset about?
Ethan: She was upset because we threw her apple in the toilet.

Yes, you read that right.  Toilet.  This is the next kicker:

Me: WHAT?  
Ethan and Caleb thinking to themselves: Why does mom look like her head is fixing to spin off? ... We just busted ourselves.
Me:  Was there pee in it?
Ethan and Caleb cautiously now: yeeeesssss.
Me: WHHHHHAAAATTTT???  How did she get it out?
Ethan: She put her hand in it.
Me: WHHHHHAAATTTT???!!!

Linley is sitting in my lap at this point, eating her apple, playing around on the keyboard of the laptop.  EEEWWWWWW!!!!!


I go into the bathroom and this is what I see:


Not only is there water all over the floor, the toilet lid is up, the scrub brush is in it, and yes, there is pee in it.  Of course, I naturally send the boys straight to their room and Linley and I go to the bathroom and I do the 20 question game.

Me: Linley,  where was you apple?
Lineley: in there.
Me: Where?
Linley, pointing: in toilet.
Me: Who put in there?
Linley: dey did.
Me:  How did you get it out?
Linley: with dat. (pointing to scrub brush).
Me: Show me.
She did.  Then, she giggles.  Holy moley. I am on the phone with my twin sister and instead of completely having a mental breakdown I go into hysterical laughing. Literally, crying we're laughing so hard.
I give Linley her bath and she runs into the boys room naked laughing at them.  What do they do? Launch lincoln logs at her. At this point here comes a sermon, a very PASSIONATE sermon.  That ended with both boys hugging Linley, apologizing, and asking her if they could get out of timeout because that was up to her.  She did, enter sermon about receiving mercy and love which they did not deserve and we do not deserve from Jesus, once again very passionately given.

So, lesson learned here:  1. Jesus shows us mercy and love that we do not deserve and we can too.
                                      2. When your two year old asks to wash her apple, do it.

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