Crack me up

Days like today, and the past couple days, I just crack up.  In a good way :)

My boys now have a new obsession with Star Wars.  You know, the 80's versions.  Caleb even sings the Darth Vader song.  When he sees the ship he even says, "There my ship." in the deepest voice possible.  For Halloween the boys are going to be Star Wars themed. Caleb: Darth Vader; Ethan: Luke (the starship kind where he gets to wear the airplane suit and helmet); and Linley Claire: Yoda.  Caleb already has his costume on around the house. I was putting up clothes when something hits me right behind my knees.  What in the world? I turn around and what do I see? Caleb, in his Darth Vader costume-" I chop off your legs." in his Darth Vader voice as he is holding his light saber.  Then, deep discussion on how we really can't hit people with our light sabers like Darth Vader did in the movie. 

Yesterday, Caleb runs to his room. My first instinct: poop. So of course I tell him to go sit on the potty.  But, before I know it here comes Caleb sans underwear and pants sporting only his pajama shirt.  Here's the dialogue:
Me: Caleb, did you poop?
Caleb: uh-huh.
Me: Go to the bathroom to get cleaned up. 
Caleb: NOOOOOO!!!!!!
break here for drama in the bathroom.
Me: Caleb, where is your poop?
Caleb: in my room.
Note-we have a dog who poops outside, maybe Caleb should go outside with him. Just a thought.
Me: Here's the toilet paper, go pick up your poop and put it in here.
Caleb: NOOOOOOO!!! (Seeing a pattern here? That's three for you).
Enter bedroom where there is poop on the floor. Seriously? 
Me: you are not leaving this room til you are done picking up your poop and have self-control.
Caleb: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
5 minutes later, poop gone and Caleb now has "Self-control" and doesn't whine for about 30 seconds.  We're still working on that character trait.

Today, and yesterday, and the past few weeks, I've been balancing the checkbook, you know, your favorite thing to do in the whole world.  John and I have a plac ewhere we keep all the receipts and then I write them all down at one time. So, I am working on that and left them on the love seat last night.  And this is what I saw this morning:

andthis:

 

 

Yes, this is my new messer. 

 

 

Oh well, so much for organization, Then, five minutes later this is what happens:

 

Those are clean dishes.  Linley is a climber.  And now wet.

 

We get school started and we are doing our devotional. We're talking about the importance of having good friends.  We discuss the verse, "As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another." Of course, I go deep with it and try to illustrate it for them:

 

Me: Boys, it's kind of like swords or your light sabers.  To make something sharper you have to rub it against something else. Like a knife.  You rub it back and forth and it gets sharper and sharper. That's the way it is with friends. We need to choose friends who help us to do good to others, love the Lord more.  That way we become better at serving others, and loving the Lord.

In my head: good analogy. Are they getting this?  Did they understand the illustrations?

Ethan:  Mom, you don't sharpen light sabers. 

 

Oh well.  They really do crack me up :)

 



Life on the farm

To begin today's blog I have some thoughts, about the boxes we put people in.  I still kind of see myself as a normal city girl.  Grew up in town (albeit rural town), went to public school, went to UK,  lived and road raged with several hundred thousand people, went to a great church, went to some great bball games -GO CATS;  but now I'm on the farm...with three children...and I homeschool. If I were to see someone like me I would think, yeah, they're a farmer and kind of weird to homeschool, and a lot of kids, with a lot of mess and craziness.   When people refer to me as living on a farm and being a farmer I really just laugh to myself.  You're talking about the woman who just had a pedicure last week and now my toes are messed up because I wore my steel-toed boots outside with no socks on to tend to the animals.   Oh well, I like my steel-toed boots.  You're talking about the girl who still won't touch a chicken unless I'm wearing garden gloves.  Now, I don't dress up as much, I have coveralls that I wear in the winter that make me look like a really short man,  I throw apples at goats,  I clean up poop frequently.  Oh well.  I like that I homeschool. I like that I live on a farm. I like my boots.  So, keep that in mind as you read this.

Linley, 5:30 A.M.  101.7 fever.  Not best way to start out the morning.  Morning run was actually quite pleasant.  I didn't feel like my lungs were going to explode and my legs were happy with me.  At 6:35 when I get back in, guess who meets me? Ethan.  Really, it's 6:35 IN THE MORNING and you don't go to school. Please, sleep in.  Get my stairclimbing and halfway through in comes John carrying Caleb who is not very happy that he  is up at this hour.   So, John is off to work and we start our day officially.  Now it's time to tend to the animals...and both boys want to go...which is a huge chore just to get the correct shoes on them (there is a dew and they have to wear boots.) Caleb is throwing a hissy fit because something is in his.  So, I stick my hand in his boot and pull something out.  Ok, as I'm writing this my bp is rising because I am a sissy.  So, I jerk it out and throw it onto the concrete pretending to my children that this is no big deal but inwardly I'm screaming: WHAT IS THIS I'M TOUCHING???  HURRY!! GET IT OUT!!  Yeah, it's some type of nest for probably some wasp or dirt dobber. I squished til the guts came out. Caleb thought that was real cool that it was yellow on the inside.   We tend to the turkeys, cats, chickens, and then Ollie who is so happy to see everyone at 7:15 this morning.  Wet jumping dog-EWW. 

Linley Claire is still asleep so time for a shower, my devotional, and get myself done as much as possible.  Now,  let me note that my quiet time I like to have QUIET.  Not necessarily by myself, but quiet.  However, Ethan chooses this time to debate when we are going to start school, can we wait til after Linley gets back from the doctor to start?  Caleb is flipping out due to the fact that he thought Spot (our cow) is going to get out of the fence to get slaughtered. Bless him, he doesn't understand that the cow is going to his death but he's more worried that the cow is going to get him.  Finally, I say,  I am having my prayer time. I need to talk to God.  I need quiet.  Now.  Surprisingly that worked.    Now time for LC to get up, yay no fever at this moment!,  get some food in her , litterally only some since she has this cold virus, and then the child poops...twice.  Man, that was rough.  What time is it? The doctor is at 10:40.  Uhoh. Time to start school so off we go downstairs. We start and Linley is screaming while we're doing math. I finally pick her up and all are happy. 

Side note: boys. Like to talk about poop.  Compare poop.  Observe poop.  Think it's so cool that they ask others to come look at their poop.  Yes, this discussion really  happened today with Ethan.

Time for the doctor, only a virus so no meds and off we dash back home.  I walk in the door and it's time to fix all lunches.  Linley is still in her seat while the boys are running as fast as they can through the house talking about lunch.  Finally, they eat, I get her some food, she throws a fit-still doesn't feel good, and now I can eat.  Did I mention we were on vacation the last 7 days? Therefore, my house runneth over with clothes...everywhere.  So,  working on the various piles and Linley has had it and it's time for her to go down and the rest of school. Reading actually goes off without a hitch, and Caleb is begging for his darth vader costume.  Darth Vader clothed, we finish school.  We run back upstairs and I'm working on clothes, again, when something hits me on the back of my legs.  I turn, and what do  I see but a miniature Darth Vader with his light-saber saying, "I cut your legs off."  Then, deep discussion on how we really aren't supposed to hit people with our light-sabers.

Now, to take the clothes off the line and tend to the animals. May I note here that this is when my bff, Heather is listening to all that is going on.  So, picture this, me, a vbs t-shirt, workout shorts, and steel-toe boots walking through the yard when I see nothing but that daggone goat out of the electric fence.  Debate, to leave the goat or chase?  I left it for the moment.  Not in these boots.  Uh oh, forgot  to open the chicken hatch so now the eggs are underneath their laying boxes.  So, top propped open and I'm leaning over the chicken coop praying that I don't fall in or the top close on me unexpectedly and knock me in there.  I'm sure the goat got a kick out of this.  Lay the eggs down to feed the dog and what does he do?  Chases down an egg and eats it!! Are you kidding me? The dog won't fetch with a ball but will run after an egg!!  I run back inside, working on dinner, getting ready for church pictures and what happens? Caleb poops in his underwear.  Waddling like a duck with poop in his britches.  Really?  Cleaned up,  now to finish dinner.  I'm looking out the window and what do I see? That stinking goat nibbling on our apple tree.  So, as any person in their right mind would do. I open the fridge, grab two old apples,  run out the back door, and chunk the apple a tthe goat trying to tempt it away from the tree. It worked.  Now, to try and temp it into the fence. No luck, the grass is literally greener on this side of the fence. 

John gets home and I look out the window of the kitchen and I see Ethan running across the back yard literally chasing the goat.  That was the funniest thing I have seen all day.  So I naturally grab the camera and run outside and make him do it again.  Time to eat, get ready for pictures, and then head to Wal-Mart and then get everyone ready for bed. I'm tired. 

So, after reading this I'm still not convinced I'm a farmer, or too weird that I'm homeschool, or nuts because I have so much poop around me.  I'm just a woman saved by God's grace doing what He's called me to do. Thank Him for where I'm at and trust Him with everything. That's all I can do.